Posted by Sara T on June 1, 2000, at 13:44:07
In reply to EXPLORING NEW TERRORTORY, posted by shar on May 30, 2000, at 20:26:10
> I believe I am in a panic right now. I feel as though I've just been scared and had a huge adrenaline surge, and now have wobbly legs, shaking hands, hard to breathe, heart beating fast, tight chest, not steady on my feet.
>
> Panic is usually not one of my issues. Although, I''m no stranger to anxiety.
>
> Any words of wisdom anyone?
>
> I am going to be "released" at my job because I do not work fast enough (I coordinate training for businesses). Tomorrow is my last day. I don't know whether to resign (which I can) or let them fire me and try to collect unemployment. Shew!!! I am one scared, terrified person.
>
> It's partly $$, and partly insurance, and partly security, and also self-esteem. They even have me convinced I'm not worthy. Never been "terminated" before.
>
> What a drag. I know this will pass, and I know it won't be real easy, and I don't want to go through it, and here I go.
>
> Onward through the fog. One wobbly step at a time.
>
> Any words of wisdom anyone?
>
> SharShar-
I'm glad to see that you are facing this with courage and dignity, even thouogh its a situation that really digs into your dignity.It also touched on an issue that has been central to me almost all my working life. The fear of not being able to succeed. I fear that I cannot make it on my own. It has been one thing that has kept me from going back out there after 5 years (even though I have done so sporadically).
Like the others on this thread have pointed out, the job may not have been a good fit for you and getting fired maybe lead you to something better actually. I hope so.
I have been fired twice, and I have to admit that I was partially at fault. My career is at a standstill. I have also come to recognize that those jobs weren't a good fit for me, and during the time I have been out, I discovered my ADD.
I am talented, I am intelligent, and I can and have succeeeded in things. But fear often takes over and I freeze. Then I don't believe any of those things about myself and I wonder what good I am and why I even exist.
I will go back out there, and this time I will have a better understanding of myself and how I need to function. I am working on developing a more realistic appraisal of myself to take with me.
It hurts, no doubt about it. But again, I want to tell you how impressed I am with the way in which you're dealing with your fears. My thoughts are with you, keep us posted with your progress.
Good Luck,
Sara T.
poster:Sara T
thread:35288
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000526/msgs/35544.html