Posted by noa on June 23, 2000, at 8:40:04
In reply to As with everything, YMMV, posted by shar on June 22, 2000, at 18:21:37
>brainstorm is too active-sounding. I'd like something like "the invisible, paralyzing, suffocating black hood weighing 5,000 pounds" (just my experience). The Beast works for me too.
Sometimes, it feels like a "brainstorm" as described by Styron. This is when I am depressed and flooded by intense emotion and simultaneous cognitive confusion. Sometimes, it is more of a Black Hole, with ultra powerful gravity force, pulling everything deep deep inside, locking everything in forever, an ultra dense object of badness and hopelessness that I am stuck in. The "beast" concept, for me is a monster. When I am starting to feel better, the depression is a monster, and I am terrified of it attacking me again. I am learning to use this conceptualization/visualization---of the depression monster ---as a tool to try to see the depression and my self as distinct entities. With the black hole model, I am the black hole, it is me. When I can see the depression as outside my self, I can feel more in control, and hopeful for change.
poster:noa
thread:37856
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000619/msgs/38210.html