Posted by ksvt on August 4, 2000, at 22:06:21
In reply to Re: feeling ashamed of depression » ksvt, posted by tdaneen on August 4, 2000, at 15:24:59
> I grew up, and have continued to live in a small town. Population under 7000. I have been in and out of therapy for depression (turned out to be bipolar disorder) ever since I was 18, I will be 32 this year. I owned a small business and worked very very hard to keep my uneven moods from my customers, their families, and the general public.
> This caused a lot of anexity. No matter where I went, to get gas for the car, to get groceries, I felt like I had to keep it together because everyone knew me. When you are suffering from a disease like depression trying to be "ON" all the really stinks. I ended up going out of town for treatment.
>
> I hope you have at least a couple of people you do trust to share these feelings with. It is hard to carry this around by yourself, adding the cronic pain, that makes you have to work even harder. You are very strong for reaching out like this.
> I want to encourage you. There will still be ups and downs, but as long as you have a support system you have a hand hold. Take care of yourself. Follow up with your doctors.
> My TMJ and I are wishing your facial pain away in the speediest way possible :^)tdaneen - thanks much. I think as time goes on, I am finding some ways, altho very indirect, to let some people know when I'm feeling particularly bad. It is tough when you don't open up very easily, and for me it's hard because I really wouldn't want anyone to know how extreme my thinking can be. It's pretty amazing to me that I can be engaged in a perfectly harmless and inocuous activity, like watching a school performance, or sitting in a meeting, with suicidal images racing through my head. These are not exactly the kinds of things you want to share. You're right tho - it does get to be an pretty insufferable load to carry around. ksvt
poster:ksvt
thread:41956
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000729/msgs/42190.html