Posted by JennyR on June 21, 2001, at 22:58:31
In reply to ADs and love, posted by Joe Schmoe on June 19, 2001, at 17:45:04
I really have a thing for my therapist too, but it doesn't get in the way. I guess a question to ask is does it get in the way of the work? I'm crazy about mine because of how incredibly in tune with me he can be, and how good the connection feels. So that's a good thing. I'm a little obsessed with him, but in my own mind, I don't stalk him or anything. So if it makes me feel wonderful that someone really listens and really helps me figure things out, and really remembers my stuff, and acts very caring - that's all great.
I have talked about it to some degree, about how his praise means a lot, which lead to fruitful discussions of how I didn't get it as a kid. Or how I really appreciate that this is the one place where my perspective really matters and I'm greatful, and then will talk about what it was like in my family and how what I felt never mattered. So this stuff can be a good springboard for discussion. And I am totally clear on the boundaries, and actually really like the boundaries because they make me feel safe, so there's no issue of any false hopes of anything more than it is. But what it is is great and I wouldn't want to change it.
Good feelings for a therapist a "positive therapeutic alliance" is a good thing, unless you feel yourself hopelessly wanting more from him, in which case it is getting in the way. Then it should definitely be addressed.
Also, we tend to endow them with almost superhuman qualities, see them as these perfect beings. In real life, they have their problems too. We just tend to idealize them. It's normal.
poster:JennyR
thread:67113
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010618/msgs/67428.html