Posted by PuraVida on June 21, 2001, at 2:05:25
In reply to Re: ADs and love, posted by EricJ on June 20, 2001, at 12:24:53
Eric -
I totally identify - I go through the same cycle you do - thinking I'm OK and wanting to go off meds, and, if I do, finding out painfully that I shouldn't have. Sometimes I think that, if everything in my life were fairly stable, I could try to go off meds. But, when in the world will that be ever????
To me, there is an in between to what you say. Depressed or not, obsessive "are they seeing someone else" thoughts will surface. The choice is in whether you label them irrational, or real. AD's help me to realize they are just mormal, irrational thoughts, that everyone has. Then we think through them and throw them away.I am expecting to be on AD's all my life - for 5 years I haven't been successful going of them, and I've had a lot of poop outs. If that is what it takes, I'll do it. I think, maybe if i go through a spell of a few years where I really, really can't remember what depression is like, maybe I'll try to taper down, but ever so slowly - like years. I never, never want to relapse again, so I'll take the meds as needed as amn insurance policy...
Liz
> Wow... this is very similar to what I have just experienced... met this great guy in February when I was on Effexor... He's somewhat "unavailable" as well, but I was dealing with the situation just fine - keeping things casual, enjoying my life, enjoying my other friends, etc... I went off the Effexor and about a month later the obsessive thoughts started about him... "what is he doing?" "is he with someone else right now?" I literally would think about him first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and started waking up at 3 a.m. EVERY morning thinking about him... It was hell.
>
> I became depressed again, went on Wellbutrin which kicked in about 2 weeks ago... and guess what? NO OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS! I'm able to look at the relationship (or lack thereof) objectively now and I'm enjoying my life again.
>
> hmmm... are obsessive thoughts a result of the depression or is the depression a result of the obsessive thoughts?
>
> I've been in and out of therapy and on and off anti-depressants for 12 years now... I've done my best to change my "self-talk" and work through my feelings, etc... and I've definitely learned some skills which help my relationships with myself and others. I've gone to therapy thinking that if I just worked hard enough and found the right books to read, etc, then my self-esteem would be high, I'd be able to maintain healthy relationships, and life would be all good...
>
> I'm beginning to realize, however, that (for me, at least) I'm going to need the help of ADs in order to get the life that I want. This is a big change for me. I'd always looked at ADs as a way to bring me up out of the depths of depression to make me "normal" again... Once I wasn't depressed anymore, I felt I "should" go off of them... Their job was done.
>
> Well, at this point, I'm beginning to look at ADs as being a permanent part of my life, much as a diabetic would look at insulin as part of his life. Has anyone else had a reckoning like this? I'd love to hear people's thoughts on ADs as temporary treatment vs. permanent life-long therapy.
>
> And Joe, I sincerely sympathize with your situation... I also felt like I was back in high school. I hope it gets better for you. Take care.
poster:PuraVida
thread:67113
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010618/msgs/67336.html