Posted by fachad on March 10, 2002, at 9:19:44
In reply to Severe decrease in cognitive function, posted by CJ Young on March 7, 2002, at 14:26:53
How bad were the problems that led you to take 50mg Seroquel, 400mg Wellbutrin, 300mg Effexor, 60mg thyroid, and .25mg of Xanax?
Sometimes I think people jump into, or get into a "slippery slide" into taking high doses of multiple meds, for problems that are real, but not severe enough to merit the meds they are on.
It's a choice you have to make yourself. Think about this example.
Someone who is suicidal depressed responds to Elavil, but gains 100lbs. That person may say "being fat stinks, but I was in hell before, so it was worth it.
Contrast that with someone who is dysthymic, mildly depressed and responds to Elavil, but gains 100lbs. That person will say, "I was feeling a little sad before, but now, being so fat, I am totally miserable."
The question is "was it worth it?"
Two things come to mind when I read your story.
First, ask yourself how bad off would you be without meds? I'm NOT suggesting that you just quit all meds cold turkey, just that you stop and ponder if the price you are paying in cognitive impairment is worth the benefit you are gaining from meds.
Second, ask your pdoc if your meds could be optimized to minimize cognitive impairment. Ask if there are ways to treat your symptoms without fogging your brain.
For example, if you wanted to minimize weight gain, Elavil would be a bad choice. But if you wanted to minimize insomnia, Elavil might be a good choice.
Each med has a unique profile, none are perfect, but you can carefully select meds to minimize side effects that are particularly bothersome to you.
A supermodel may embrace a significant amount of cognitive impairment (not losing much really - grin) but be adamantly against weight gain. An aerospace engineer may accept some weight gain (not necessary like it, but accept it) if her symptoms are relieved without cognitive impairment.
Optimize on tolerability. Decide which symptoms and which side effects are not tolerable, and what you will tolerate, and make some rational choices.
Finally, if they are not contraindicated by some other condition you have, pstims like Ritalin, Dexedrine, or Adderall may be of substantial benefit to you.
This is not like some college student abusing stims to cram for exams. This is about your core functionality as an academic professional being deteriorated by both psych problems and by psych meds. It is at least worth asking you pdoc about.
Your innate intelligence is your greatest asset. Use it as a way to take an active part in your recovery, and do research to optimize your medication regimen.
I don't usually get this preachy, but I really feel for your predicament.
> I'm on 50mg Seroquel, 400 Wellbutrin, 300 Effexor, 60mg thyroid
> and xanax (.25mg) to help me sleep. I had seizures as a child and
> recently had another one which I chalked up to accidental overdose of the above
> drugs due to time-zone changes while traveling to asia.
>
> My problem is this--I am in a PhD program in literature and faced with
> what seems to be my inevitable departure from the profession. I cannot
> think properly, my memory is astonishly deficient--the hundreds of books I have
> read are no longer accessible to me in my mind. It is heartbreaking to
> pick up a book and have no memory of having read any of it. Marginalia
> appear foreign.
>
> The qualities I valued most were my verbal acuity, creativity, and eloquence.
> My emails would leave friends and colleagues on the floor laughing. Distance
> never came between myself and my friends on the other side of the country because
> I could express myself perhaps better than I could if I were there. I no longer
> write emails anymore and have lost touch with my friends.
>
> I cannot find words. My boyfriend, a brilliant man who fell in love with me
> before I was on medication, is heartbroken that the medication does not
> allow people to know me or my intelligence. Sometimes I think he is talking
> about himself too.
>
> My mind operates at about 10% capacity versus prior to the meds. When your life,
> your identity, your passion are circumscribed by your intellect, you are left with
> nothing but the consciousness of your loss.
>
> In this case, ignorance is not bliss, but agony. I feel I need to make a decision.
> Severe, treatment-resistant bipolar II depression with borderline personality disorder
> OR mediocre quality of life emptied out of all content and meaning.
>
> I cry all day. I have lost everything just so that I can keep living.
>
> Please share your experiences.
poster:fachad
thread:96905
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020307/msgs/97317.html