Posted by wcfrench on October 14, 2002, at 14:02:58
In reply to my experience; from zoloft to prozac and then some, posted by tai on October 12, 2002, at 22:14:50
Tai
Let me start off by saying that there are a lot of people who really love you and care about you and for you to take your own life would not only be a waste, but it would be very selfish. And you should think about that and realize that it is not the way out. I have been there, and so have thousands of others. And several others on this board have attempted suicide and come out of deep depression and will tell you to just hold on. I don't know how far I am from there, but we have to take each day as it comes. I read your story and so will many others, because even we care about you.
I've been through my share of meds. Effexor, Paxil, Seroquel, Geodon, Klonopin, Neurontin, Remeron. I'm now on Lithium, Zoloft, and Wellbutrin. The last 2 and a half months of my life I had a very unsuccessful bout with Remeron where my life was completely dry, emotionless, and I couldn't have any fun. I climbed mount Whitney, the tallest mountain in the lower 48 states (14,552), and didn't really enjoy it. I ran cross country in college so it wasn't very difficult for me, but nonetheless I was at the top of the mountain and not really giving a crap. I hated it. I took a road trip from California to Arkansas, going to Las Vegas, Yosemite, the Grand Canyon, and all of it was bland. When you're depressed, you carry it wherever you go. And when you're depressed, it can eat at your athletic ability. I ran after college to keep in shape, but when I got pretty bad I stopped running. It becomes difficult to stay in shape when you're depressed, and often it can make you feel anergetic and weaker than you really are. Ask anyone. That's what happens to me.. I feel sort of tired all the time and have no motivation.
Anyway, I wanted to tell you that maybe Prozac isn't the right thing for you. Sometimes, an antidepressant just doesn't do the trick for various reasons. I got a "dud" with the Remeron, and several other people have tried some meds and received nearly no response but have been very successful on others. Sometimes your chemistry just doesn't click with a med. Also, there are several other things you can try. You can add Lithium to augment an antidepressant and act as a mood stabilizer, often it is very effective. And there are MANY other medicines and therapies out there, so don't think you're anywhere near the end of your rope. There are MAOIs, Benzodiazepines, tricyclics, antipsychotics, and there's always ECT. I think you should seriously consider psychotherapy and you should TELL YOUR DOC that you are seriously suicidal. You at least owe it to yourself to tell others how you feel. No one deserves to feel the despair that you are going through, but there are others out there that have it as bad, and many that have it worse. Trust me. Tell your doctor your meds are not working and ask about Lithium as an adjunctive treatment and maybe Benzos, like Xanax. They can take the edge off big time, and are often helpful in the roughest of our times. You need to start feeling better, and if your doc won't put you on something else if you still feel that way, leave him for another. What you are feeling is not acceptable.
And most importantly, remember that many of your thoughts are depressed thoughts and you are only experiencing that because of how you feel. You have to be patient, and yes, I know it sucks. Try to find therapy in things that make you happy. I know through experience that almost nothing can make you happy when you feel that way, but find whatever it may be and cling to it. For me, I found a lot of therapeutic response with music. I don't mean rock, or classical, or rap or country. But good music that you can relate to. I would be more than happy to send you a CD and share some of this with you. Let me know what kind of stuff you like.
Remember this. I read this somewhere, and I'll share it with you. Everything is OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end.
Wishing you the best, and hoping to hear back from you.
-Charlie
poster:wcfrench
thread:123411
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021012/msgs/123612.html