Posted by Alina on March 2, 2004, at 16:01:31
In reply to Re: Cyclothymia mood stabilizers » Sarena, posted by BarbaraCat on March 24, 2002, at 15:26:40
Hi, i'm new to the board and when i found this place, i almost started bawling because now i have some sort of answer that fits.
I've recently stumbled across cyclothymia (definition of) and have done extensive research and have concluded it's the closest definition i've found of what's been ailing me yet. i'm 20, and i've been having episodes like this since i was sixteen although i did not realize it then. i'm pretty sure it was triggered by a round of Accutane, although my personality, family history and and my odd childhood (no trauma) have always conducive to this kind of thing. my big swings are bi-annual (from spring until end of summer, from end of summer until january) but continue on a smaller scale something like weekly; i've moved in and out of academic institutions for the last three years while managing to remain in college. i have amazing highs when i'm extremely creative and my mind is racing and i feel elevated to another level of existence miles above the mundane; however, these periods are interrupted by terrible lows where i can't push myself to even perform the basest functions, like doing laundry or even taking showers. for a long time i thought i had depression; my mother, who is a psychiatrist gave me Wellbutrin which produced a quick and violent reaction. i discontinued and tried celexa then, and zoloft, but nothing seemed to work; the condition only seemed worse, the bad days lengthening.
due to a chance encounter with phentermine (a doctor described diet pill at the mild end of that spectrum) after a little weight gain from the celexa, i found out that i could induce highs to keep away the lows. i found out that taking one pill per week (just to get me through the first day) helped me fast the rest of the week (four or five days in a row sometimes) thus inducing the manic euphoria. i though the euphoria was a "normal" state that i should be living in-i thought this because i had been under for so long i had forgotten what it felt like to feel good and normal again and i thought this must be it. i continued in this mostly manic state until my body weight dropped frighteningly low and the autumn swing came, sending me back into deep and debilitating depression.
i'm back on my upward swing now, but i know there's got to be a better way and it's pretty hard to not eat all week because that really screws with your social/personal life. but it's the only way i can keep my head clear enough to have enough motivation to keep up with my schoolwork and perform the daily functions. if anyone has had a similar experience or has any advice for a newcomer, i would really appreciate it; i'm very new to this and tremendously excited by the prospect that since i may have been misdiagnosed, that there is possibly a way to cope with this that i just don't know about yet and something may yet work.
any stories or encouragement or advice would be much appreciated-i just thank god i found this early enough in my life so that i didn't keep trying anti-depressants.
alina
poster:Alina
thread:9730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040228/msgs/319419.html