Posted by Ilene on March 4, 2004, at 11:44:36
In reply to Re: Marplan Diary Day 20, posted by cubbybear on March 3, 2004, at 22:34:46
> > I wonder if this is bringing my mood down. I never missed my mother after she died. Even now, if she were to magically return to life, I think I would have a hard time dealing with her.
>
> Have you maybe hit upon something essential here--toward an understanding of your depression? You needn't answer me, but it could be something to mention to your doctor, if you haven't already.
> cubbybearI mentioned it to her--she called me this morning. We've already discussed my dysfunctional family. (Like who hasn't?) But there's so much mental illness on my mother's side that I believe my problems are genetic. That's the essential thing to understand. Everything else is damage control.
My concerns are in the here and now. I *need to function*. I have a son who needs me. Unfortunately, the temptation to check out is getting stronger.
Here's a link to a post I found that reflects how I feel about constantly searching for insight:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040225/msgs/318393.htmlI'm not denigrating insight--my mother seemed to lack it almost entirely--but I need for my brain to function first.
I'm glad you're still reading my posts.
I.
poster:Ilene
thread:315567
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040304/msgs/320140.html