Posted by Questionmark on April 14, 2004, at 10:03:23
In reply to Re: writers and mental illness- utopizen » Bill LL, posted by utopizen on April 13, 2004, at 0:53:15
> The only thing I hate about my ADD, truly, is my inability to overcome procrastation. It's added so much stress this semester, as I have two incompletes that have turned F's, and must write papers for these two courses on the hopes I can charm my way into getting both professors to correct my grade and not fail out of school right before senior year hits.
This reminds me of myself-- see below.
> My p-doc once asked, after a year of seeing him for social anxiety and ADD, "if I was a writer." I was like, "huh?" but then realized, "oh yeah, writer, yeah, I'm an English major, it's the only thing I know how to do well." I suspect he saw Transplanation at the time, because I recently saw it and it's all about a writer coping with his social anxiety.
i've never heard of Transplantation. Is it a film? If it is i would freaking LOVE to see it. That would be so great.
> Now if I can only calm myself down to go to sleep despite the looming work not yet started, yet due tomorrow...
>
> Now if I can only I can stop my obsessional thoughts, which will plague me into feeling compelled to send off emails and organize old emails rather than go to the library to get the books I needed to get to do work tonight...>"Sounds crazy, but I get so obsessed with stupid things on my computer..."
> I've never once done a paper that wasn't an all-nighter, and I'm currently a junior. It's no fun, I really hope Straterra plays around with a lot of gunk up in my brain, especially the obsessional thinking I never really thought much of until my therapist pointed it out to me. (I assumed you needed to have behavioral obsessions in order to have obsessional thoughts).1) i believe "behavioral obsessions" are technically considered "compulsions."
2.(a) You're obsessive thinking and behavior and your extreme procrastination highly remind me of myself. i waste so much time obsessing on menial things that it's ridiculous. i also waste hordes of time doing things-- almost EVerything-- thoroughly and perfectly and what not, causing me to be extremely slow and take far more time in doing things than most people (i don't know if you have this last problem). And i procrastinate to the point of almost utterly destroying my life. i procrastinate everything. i, too, do not know if i've ever done a paper that was not an all-nighter or nearly an all-nighter. i am finishing my sixth (!) year of undergraduate school and am finally going to graduate-- after repeatedly failing a few of the same easy classes over and over again, all due to procrastination. i feel like i've wasted so much time and potential. But enough whining. However, one important thing i learned/realized about a year ago (through this board, and then through observing it more carefully in myself thereafter) is that...
2.(b) ... stimulants can make my obsessive-compulsiveness SO much worse, especially if taken consistently. i was originally diagnosed with just ADD in early highschool, and spent years (in intermittent phases) trying to help my wretched mental problems with stimulants, including caffeine. However, i learned recently (past few years) that i have OC Personality Disorder, which almost definitely is primary to and much worse than any amount of ADD i have. Then i learned that stimulants can often exacerbate obsessive-compulsive problems a great deal. After awhile of observing how i felt and acted when using stimulants, i realized that this was certainly the case with me. So my point to all this rambling is that your heavy use of psychostimulants may be compounding your obsessive problems-- possibly a lot. i know that you have narcolepsy as well (i'm pretty sure it's you), which would make this a difficult situation. But just be aware of this fact/possibility. It's such a catch-22 for me, too, because without stimulants i have so little ability to concentrate and be motivated and what not, but WITH stimulants i am so stinking obsessive and compulsive (perfectionistic and overly thorough, in my case). Okay, good luck with everything. Remind yourself this constantly (so as to not procrastinate as much)-- PRIORITIES! Ok enough, i'm done.(Post Script: This excessively long post is a great example of my ridICulous compulsiveness!!)
poster:Questionmark
thread:334202
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040412/msgs/336270.html