Posted by Angel Girl on June 5, 2004, at 12:54:41
In reply to Re: Today my sister told me ... » Angel Girl, posted by Caper on June 4, 2004, at 13:38:49
Caper
I'm sorry to hear that you are also an alcoholic. I can't imagine dealing with both things at the same time, especially when alcohol is a depressant. Have you ever tried to quit the alcohol, maybe in a re-hab center? I have the addiction of over spending, so bad that my sister has taken over my finances so that I don't get myself back into tremendous debt as I've already done twice. I've been extremely close to being homeless, especially the last time. Thankfully for me, my Mom was able to pay off all my debts but of course, now I live with the guilt that she did that for me. I wish you all the best with yours. Don't be so hard on yourself. Somehow, you'll find a way to improve your situation although I know it won't be easy for you.
I'm looking for a therapist who is compassionate but yet will tell me what I'm doing wrong and help me to make the right decisions and how to handle situations that I don't handle very well now, ie: relationships. I don't want to be yelled at or belittled and I don't think that is the right way for anybody to have therapy. I want someone who can hopefully understand me yet teach me appropriate behaviors and of course, I know I will hear things that are hard to hear and I'll have to talk about things that are difficult for me to talk about. Somehow I'll manage with both things. I know that they are necessary in order to get better.
I've recently read that other than word of mouth, the best way to find a therapist is through a referral service. Is this what you have done, or what method did you use? How do most people find a therapist?
I love your saying 'Feelings aren't good or bad, they just Are'. I'll have to remember that. I'm just trying to accept that my feelings count, regardless of what they are, doesn't mean that I don't have to work on them though. God knows I have a LONG road of therapy ahead for me.
To be honest, being an in-patient scares me to death. I think I would be more depressed than I am now. I'm panic stricken to be in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people. I would have to be taking my Xanax constantly. I do however, go to a group therapy at a hospital and I'm really enjoying it and learning new ways to cope. You're right, it is good to hear what other people with depression are dealing with. It helps you to see you're not alone and maybe they've learned a coping skill that I haven't. I feel I have somewhat a bond with other people who are also suffering because I strongly believe that unless you've been in our shoes, you can't even phathom what it is like.
Good luck to you too.
AG
> Hi Angel Girl,
>
> Seems we have some things in common. My depression started very early too (age 7, I'm 31 now) and I have also been diagnosed with Bipolar II. Some docs add on the "rapid cycling" thing and some don't. I should also add that about 17 months ago I started "self-medicating" with alcohol and am now a full-fledged certified alcoholic. Please, please don't let this ever happen to you! I read a statistic that about 60% of bipolars end up addicted to something so please be careful. The mood disorder alone is bad enought but when you add addiction things get downright horrible! None of the meds work right when you're drinking a depressing substance every few hours.
>
> Sorry for the rant but I just wish I could warn everyone in the world- no matter how old or young you are, addiction can get you and you won't see it coming.
>
> As far as therapists go, my advice is shop around as much as you can. Give each one at least a few sessions, but don't let yourself be put down. I also think though, that one of the worst things a therapist can do is to be _too_ nice to a depressed person- they have to be able to prod you a little and make you talk about things you'd rather not sometimes. Otherwise I felt like I was being given permission to wallow in my sorrows..this is just my opinion, of course.
>
> I think a good therapist combines empathy with the ability to call you on it when you're not trying hard enough. With both of my really good therapists there have been times I've been absolutely ENRAGED by some things they said, but later realized I had that emotional reaction because what they said was true! Definitely don't go to a therapist who belittles you or makes you feel put down, but be aware that you won't always hear what you want to hear. If you get angry and storm out (as I did several times) the therapists have seen it before and will not hold a grudge.
>
> One of my favorite expressions from my numerous hospitalizations is "Feelings are not good or bad, feelings just ARE." Remember that and try not to beat yourself up, okay?
>
> On that note, have you ever considered a brief in-patient hospitalization? If your insurance can cover it, a good small private hospital can do a world of good. The group therapy in a good hospital can be amazing! I swear I've learned more from other patients than from the doctors and staff there.
>
> I hope you keep posting if you have anything you want to get off your chest. Best of luck to you!
>
> Caper
>
>
poster:Angel Girl
thread:353643
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040602/msgs/354031.html