Posted by Maxime on April 13, 2005, at 19:37:23
In reply to Re: No more meds and I feel good! » Maxime, posted by MidnightBlue on April 13, 2005, at 15:38:57
Hi MB- I hope you are feeling better now.
I have no money to move. I have not job. I am living with my elderly mom right now. I have NOTHING. In fact I am in debt. I can't dig myself out of this hole and no one is going to do it for me (and why should they?). I'm 36 and I have nothing. I have a Masters degree and a lot of work experience but that doesn't count for anything.
The truth is about 20 percent of people with bipolar illness kill themselves by the time they are 40. The same for people with eating disorders. I'm not saying I am going to kill myself next week or anything. Besides, I have a fear of ending up in a worse situation than I am now. I was brought back to life after a suicide attempt in 2003 and I can sincerely say I wish I hadn't. There has not been one day since March 13th 2003 that I thought "I am glad they brought me back to life". And I do NOT believe that things happen for a reason.
I am trapped. So rather than fighting the restraints I am accepting them. But eventually I will give up completly.
You are a caring person MB. I wish I could meet you in real life. :-)
Maxi
> Maxime,
>
> Maybe it is just me (and I've been sick the last couple of days so maybe I'm not reading this right), but I don't feel good about this thread. I'm worried both about you and for you.
>
> I wish I knew the right thing to say or how to help. I remember one pdoc I had--whenever I talked quietly and in a monotone--and was SEVERELY depressed--instead of complaining about what was going on in my life--he said oh you are better! The guy didn't have a clue!
>
> Don't stop fighting Maxime. Could you possibly move? New city, new life, new doctors?
>
> Just trying--(hugs)
> MidnightBlue
poster:Maxime
thread:483408
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050413/msgs/483872.html