Posted by jerrympls on May 20, 2005, at 1:40:20
In reply to Re: Why are evenings worse?, posted by FredPotter on May 20, 2005, at 0:14:17
> I think you might be wrong to blame biochemistry for this. Although biochemistry will alter with mood, it may not be the cause. We're biochemical and we're social. We're physical *and* we're spiritual. But thanks Maxime for bringing this up because I have it too. I'm 58 and have only recently discovered that people are basically friendly (perhaps it's because I now live in NZ!). What's more I need to be around people. So when I'm at work I'm motivated, social and happy, broadly speaking. I go home happy too.
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> But I live alone since my wife left 4 years ago(with the kids). Every evening at first I enjoy the freedom but gradually a dread builds up. A dread and hopelessness that I'm not necessary to anyone and I'm all alone, washed up. Damn this nuclear family age. If I have to go out to play in my band I really come to life.
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> I believe for me that this is a simpler explanation than talking about drugs and biochemical imbalance. I take Celexa but suspect it doesn't do much. Xanax is powerless over "the evening feeling" too. I sometimes have a compulsion to prove that I can go it alone in life. However I suspect none of us can, because we're social animals. Perhaps even hermits pay a high emotional price for their freedom. Or perhaps the pain of feeling alone and un-needed is less than the pain outside in the world.
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> Life's a bugger really
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> FredFred- very well said. I agree completely. The loneliness and dread at night doesn't respond to anti-anxiety meds - it's something you can't put your finger on - but know it's there. Part of being human - if not the most important part/goal is to be intimate with other humans. We need intimacy just like we need food to survive. Without it, the loneliness eats away at us like severe hunger. At work, I'm more social and don't feel dread. But when I come home it starts sinking in - or creeping in. It doesn't help either to have friends who have abandoned you because of your mental illness as mine have done.
Thanks for the post Fred--you raised a VERY important point.
Jerry
poster:jerrympls
thread:499967
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050516/msgs/500201.html