Posted by Lindenblüte on October 11, 2006, at 22:38:01
background:
major depression. 6 months on cymbalta 90mg. seroquel 25 mg. provigil 200mg.got out of the major depression. yippee doo.
Started having flashbacks, nightmares, wierd peripheral hallucinations of creepy crawlies. intrusive thoughts. exaggerated startles. strange outbursts of rage, sadness, laughter. out of control emotions seething on the inside. didn't feel safe. started putting pieces together, and working with therapist on trying to understand the extent to which my traumatic childhood is affecting my current situation (lots of conflicts and overwrought emotional reactions affecting many social relationships and also my dreams for the future.) I'm remembering a lot of things and experiencing the terror of being a tiny helpless kid for the first time ever. It's really scary.
the med change
still on cymbalta 90mg
still on provigil 200mg
added klonopin .5 mg am and prn once more during day maybe
seroquel increasing gradually from 50-100-150- 175-200-225 over the course of a week. Tonight I take 250. then we plan to keep me at 300 mg pm.The question I am getting from many babbler is why? The question I wish I had an answer for is: is seroquel making me sad (I've been sobbing uncontrollably for 2 nights in a row, and felt some hints of depression sneaking back in for a few days before that too.)
seroquel dose increase theory:
1) get rid of intrusive thoughts (of my family members abusing me, for instance, or random morbid thoughts, or suicidal thoughts, or of bad things about to happen like in a horror movie)
2) I was still gettting some breakthrough insomnia with 50mg, so, I probably would have gone up to 100 anyways- why not go to a therapeutic dosage?
3) Mood stabilization. seroquel is used as a mood stabilizer for bipolar folks (I don't *think* I'm bipolar, but I've got some unstable moods for sure)
4) potent and fast-acting antidepressant for bipolar folks. http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=32513What do you guys think? The intrusive thoughts are much improved. I'm sleeping like a sandbag. I have been taking naps in the afternoon, but the fatigue has been manageable (((((provigil & coffee)))))
I just have a lot of sadness. My T has been asking me questions about my mom. My mom is someone in my family I still love. But she neglected me. Horribly. And I never acknowledged that. Maybe THAT's why I'm sad?
One complicating factor is that I may be premenstrual. That could be throwing a wrench into the whole mess. Ladies? any experiences with breakthrough depression in PMS phase? Gentlemen, any ideas (experiences with a weepy, enraged lady in your life?)
feelin' not so happy. but 2 days ago was okay. so okay, that I even told pdoc I was doing better. Now what? he's gonna think I'm psycho. Oh. wait. I *AM* psycho.
-Lindenblossom.
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:693999
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061011/msgs/693999.html