Posted by Lindenblüte on October 13, 2006, at 12:27:39
In reply to Re: Seroquel could make you less active, not sad » UgottaHaveHope, posted by Lindenblüte on October 13, 2006, at 11:03:52
Causes of Li's sadness: an interdependent web of neuroendocrinology, psychopharmacology, current and past life stressors & psychotherapy.
1) PMS makes me confrontational and bitchy. Indeed, as suspected I WAS premenstrual. This exacerbated stress in my phone conversations with husband who is away. Hour-long unresolved disagreements create stress and sadness, especially when the disagreement is with someone I usually turn to for help, comfort & love.
2) Three days in a row of solid-packed meetings, and somehow I had to do a lot of complicated data analysis too. I ended up bringing laptop to meetings and working on the dataset then. I actually had to resort to HOMEWORK
3) Pdoc started me off on a brand new medicine (Klonopin) at a fairly high dose (I think?) .5mg 2x a day and 1 extra prn -which I didn't take. I was nervous about taking this drug, but I wanted to give it a shot. I tend to be fairly sensitive to meds, especially new ones. I felt kind of loopy and uncoordinated, and had trouble focusing, and felt a touch groggy and down, at least for the first few days of this. Then we decreased my dose to .5mg am only, and prn one more during the day. This was better, but by this time I was PMS!
4) Hard to balance med changes that affect things like energy level and concentration and memory when my work load was high and needed special super-human abilities to remember which data had been entered, and checking for mistakes.
5) On Monday night, I had a really bad dream about my mom having strong denial against my ever being abused. On Tuesday, me and T started talking about my mom for the first time. I was feeling sad because my psychotherapist had a really sad look on her face when I told her about how my mom used to forget to pick me up after school. The thing is that when I tell my T about some of the events in my childhood, she shows emotions on her face, like sadness, or empathy, or outrage and I never actually realized that these events could evoke emotions. Now, I can see my T's face in my mind, and seeing her sad about this makes me feel sad about some aspects of my parents' behavior that I just accepted before. I was floating through the last few days with an overwhelming undercurrent of grief, and trying to manage to do everything else with what little mind I could manage to spare.
so. sadness is complicated. The good news is that I feel less sad today.
1) PMS symptoms largely abated.
2) work scheduled is open and easy
3) staying away from difficult people
4) had a nice social event with my friends last night
5) starting to get used to the dosing of seroquel (I'm on 275 mg now)
6) kind of acclimating to the klonopin funny feeling
7) TGIF
8) I'm getting my hair cut today- my favorite stylist has an opening, and it's the only day I have available for 4 weeks!!!
9) nice babble people give me good ideas about understanding my sadness.
10) me and husband are having normal conversations again, and he gave me a phone kiss :)-Li
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:693999
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061011/msgs/694482.html