Posted by jealibeanz on November 15, 2006, at 17:00:17
In reply to Re: My new ADHD plan... risky... » jealibeanz, posted by Phillipa on November 11, 2006, at 19:21:09
I talked to one of my profs today. I was soooo scared because I thought they had basically written me off as academically inadequate (even though very well aware of my intelligence) and irresponsible for not getting help earlier, and ignoring several problems. I figured I'd be lectured, scolded, and forced to do some heavy apologizing, some sort of counseling due to my lack of assertiveness with the issue, subjected to academic review committee hearings, and just have to kiss some butt nonstop.
Fortunately, this was not the case! I actually did not speak to the faculty member I'd originally intended to seek out (a higher up, a mother, which I think is a plus, and someone I'd talked to about personal issues before with great support). Lately she seemed unusually stressed, unforgiving, and judgmental, yet I felt it was my responsibility to see her, since she's at the top of the food chain of my program. I could tell I would not get the supportive, motherly, non-judgmental care I'd received previously, but didn't have a choice.
However, luckily the person available when I felt I needed to address the academic issues ASAP, without being labeled as avoidant/in denial, was another faculty member. This actually made more sense since she has a lot of personal contact with us… a lot! She know our demeanors, behaviors, personalities, true strengths/weaknesses. (The other faculty member teaches one lecture and knows our grades. A little personal contact, but not much.) Initially she was not my first choice because I honestly think that mothers tend to be much, much more understanding. She's odd, eccentric, and very hard to read. Never cold and certainly not overly serious, but I didn't know what to expect.
She was a psych major. Good choice! She actually thought I was coming to talk about one particular exam, not my entire academic difficulties, and certainly not personal issues. When I mentioned global academic concerns, she replied that I seem to grasp “the big picture” well, but have problems with details. So, this opened the door for my “confession”.
She was very empathetic and completely understood when I finally came out and said ADHD, which was soo hard to do and I told her so. Any condition/label that isn't well-controlled and causing distress is obviously hard to talk about. My actual words we're, I don't know if you ever noticed, but (classmate's name) picked up on it right away... ADHD. She didn't answer that (maybe out of courtesy, maybe it hadn't clicked... but now certainly will!)
poster:jealibeanz
thread:700765
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061110/msgs/703989.html