Posted by nolegirl23 on April 23, 2007, at 21:17:46
In reply to depression and work, posted by jenny80 on April 23, 2007, at 17:03:09
> Just wondered how many of you have managed to stay in employment. I have been depressed for 10 years now, I'm 26 now and in a fulltime very stressful job. This is all getting too much however. Ive recently started nardil and am finding it so hard to keep going when I can hardly stand for falling asleep not to mention slurring my speech in front of colleagues.
> Do any of you find that you just hate being at work? For some reason i loathe it. I can't stand the thought of being there and it such an effort to put on a front and act like I'm interested in my work when really i couldn't give a damn. Considering taking sick leave but then the thought of sitting at home feeling miserable does not appeal to me much either.
> Not sure what to do really. How have you all coped with depression and employment. If nardil does not work I suppose i am going to have to face the prospect of feeling like this forever. I don't think i can play the dutiful hard worker much longer.
>
It's great to see somebody in my same boat. I too am 26, and have been working/going to school for the past 11 years while dealing with my multiple mental health issues..
When I was in high school, I always thought that my depression would subside once I was in college. While in college, I thought that my eating disorder, panic disorder, OCD and severe depression would all just magically dissapear once I got out of school and 'got a real job.'
I now have that 'real job' and I find myself at a standstill in terms of my mental health issues. Everything that I thought would be better has only gotten worse. As an adult, I have so much more to worry about than I ever did as a kid.And work! My God, somedays I sit and stare at my computer and have to actually force my hands to the keyboard to press the buttons on the keyboard.. About every 15 minutes I leave my office to go in the bathroom to cry because of some flashback that throws me into a panic attack.
For me, things have gotten better since my hospitalization and adjustments of my meds. I still have horrible days (like yesterday), but now I can manage to have a somewhat normal day at work. But, no matter what, I will cry at the drop of a hat. If somebody says something to me that I perceive to be mean or hurtful, I am a blurry mess and can't function..It was great to see that there is somebody else out there like me; trying to live a normal life only to find that there illness completely hinders them..
poster:nolegirl23
thread:752799
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070419/msgs/752885.html