Posted by your#1fan on November 11, 2007, at 21:54:32
Im so depressed tonight, earlier i was driving and i saw a cliff that was open..... you get the picture. But i didnt and dont plan on it. But i had the thought, for at least 5 seconds. Just end it.
I am going to stay on this earth until i plan on dying natrually. But listen, im so depressed tonight, i feel like i cant handle life, i cant handle collage, i cant hadle reality. I want to get away from reality. Right now im so, i just got through with studying.....listen even if i had a strong mood stablizer, i would like to have many emotions. Even though they take me other places, i dont want to just be "stable" the same, boring, but i would be depressed right now even if i was on any thing, abilify...geodon.
I just have caused scenes in public that have just humilated me... and i know not alot of people are going to respond to this. That how it is.... But im a person that where nice clothes, i try my best to look sharp, but im just not with it on social skills, people are polite, and leave. They dont know what to say. I think im a panzie and need an asswhopin'
i tell you i dont, i dont even have the energy to write this but i am im so dull, im so hurt, im so sick of the way i act, and the way people respond back, Manic phone calls i've made that i was making sense, i was just talking 1000miles and hour. People have blocked me. I just hate reality. I make it like this....
Sometimes i dont even think im here, im seeing a dream or a movie or something. Thats how bad dealing with reality is.And i havent but wont fall in the hands of alcohol, that would be worse. Oh jesus...
Why me? GOD! I HATE THIS LIFE!
i dont think there is any med, and i wish the "magic" poster would come and explain exactly what to do. Maybe god will post.
Im crying......hehe you know i just hate, and regret everything i've done because it was to compsesate for me not being the social norm.
Oh but think well of each poster here... i just am really about to fall to pieces.
Maybe I think im a panzie and need an asswhopin'
poster:your#1fan
thread:794481
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20071104/msgs/794481.html