Posted by Racer on December 11, 2007, at 18:44:18
In reply to F*ck all this!, posted by Maxime on December 11, 2007, at 17:45:04
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> Blah. No it didn't help. He said I was worse and thinks I should be in the hospital. I said "No". I am not going back in there. They can't help me.Maxie, I wish you didn't hurt so much.
As for the hospital, I wish you would reconsider. After all, far from not being able to help you, you yourself said that the last hospitalization *did* help you. Why not give them another chance to help you? Maybe a little more time away from some of your daily stressors would help you even more?
Honestly, I don't know what else to say. Your pain is so clear, and I'm aching for you. Right now, almost any choice you make is going to be colored by your disorder, and not likely to be in your long term best interest. (Believe me, I know how that feels for me. Right now, it's a struggle to keep the EMSAM trial going, but I said I would, and I'm going to continue it until my doctor says to stop -- or until it works. It's just hard, and every day I think to myself, "This just isn't worth it." But if it works, it will be worth it, won't it? Hard as it is to believe it now, it still might work. I guess I'm not being subtle, trying to get you to think about the Zoloft the same way...)
I know you like your long-time pdoc, but I wonder if maybe a new one might help? Despite the counter-intuitive aspect of this, I wonder if you're just plain on too high a dose of Zoloft? It's easy, when one always seems to need higher doses of drugs, to assume that more will be better. In my case, while it usually takes huge doses of drugs to help, the SSRIs are more helpful at somewhat lower doses, which also minimizes the side effects -- such as feeling flat? Or maybe you'll need to add an augmenting agent to it, once you've gotten acclimated to it. But whatever else you do, please don't give up. If I can put up with the EMSAM, you can put up with the Zoloft. (The EMSAM is causing constipation, the drugs I've been given to counter that are causing diarrhea -- I'm alternating miserably constipated most of the week, with one or two bouts of severe diarrhea. It's NOT fun. If I can put up with that, surely you can put up with the flatness a few more days?)
I wish I had a magic wand, or that I could email you my therapist, or that I could wish you well. I'd do it in a second, if there was something I could do. Instead, I just have to tell you again that I care.
poster:Racer
thread:799974
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20071204/msgs/800211.html