Posted by Frustratedmama on June 20, 2009, at 7:37:31
In reply to Re: TRD- makes me like like it's my fault :( » bleauberry, posted by SLS on June 20, 2009, at 6:12:37
I didn't respond to your post earlier because I didn't know what to say...Please know that in NO WAY do I blame you or am I mad at you.... I just am so tired of hearing that I "need to exercise, eat right, etc." to feel better when all I want to do is DIE! I will admit that about a year ago: exercise, eating right, etc. was an option I could handle. NOT NOW! I am so faitgued, angry, irritable, ticked off, apathetic, unmotivated, miserable, (get the picture?) that exercise, eating right, etc. are miles away for me! Maybe if I could get a little boost from this depression I would try those things. I know you are well intentioned and when I feel better I know you are right and those things will help me feel even better. But from the deep dark hole I am in now- forget it! Again, good suggestions for someone who hasn't completely lost themselves to this illness but to me- I need something to help first. I agree with Scott's post and think maybe the right meds and/or diagnosis might help get me to where I can follow your suggestions bleuberry. I was never so ticked off as the day that my pdoc handed me a sheet of things I "should enjoy" and asked me to pick one thing on the list of 100's that I might get some enjoyment out of! I said NONE- don't you get it? This illness has killed me- (not literally yet) but emotionally and spiritually! I don't enjoy anything anymore and thus have given up- hit rock bottom- whatever you want to call it! I came back the next month and he asked what I did on the list.... SERIOUSLY- I just started to cry and said I HATE EVERYTHING- why would I do something on that list? I think now he gets it! He is mentioning ECT again and I am so pathetic I am actually thinking it might be worth it- but probably not given what I read- so who knows.... Bleuberry- please don't take offense to this post- it is not meant to be mean- I am just defending myself as to why I haven't done #5 yet. I know it is a great suggestion and as soon as something helps me get an inch up from this hole I am in- I will go fot it- hope you understand.....
poster:Frustratedmama
thread:901734
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090620/msgs/902226.html