Posted by g_g_g_unit on September 6, 2009, at 22:23:00
took my first dose of 10mg this morning (5 hours ago). felt a little stimulated, but not in a pleasant or uplifting way. i feel sad ... like nothing will help me at this point ... like no drug will ever get me thinking clearly again ... that all i'm doing is ingesting panaceas designed to numb me to that fact. it's way too early to be complaining, i realise, but still ... OCD is plaguing me with doubts ...
i have this mental itinerary of all the things i should be doing to make my life better ... exercising, reading, socializing, but don't have the will or executive function to even begin structuring a 'day'. still, for some reason i keep telling myself that i'm not depressed. sorry, i'm just so bored ... it feels like i live my life waiting out doctor and specialist visits. i'm going to go out for a walk now. it's the least i can do ...
poster:g_g_g_unit
thread:915948
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090902/msgs/915948.html