Posted by Meltingpot on October 21, 2009, at 8:00:24
Hi,
I've been feeling that horrible lately since coming off Antidepressants (although I didn't feel great on them) and the only thing that seems to give me any relief is Zyprexa.
I think if I ever got kidnapped, taken hostage or thrown in some rat infested prison my biggest fear would be what if they took Zyprexa away from me.
Anyway, I want to start building up a supply of Barbiturates so that if I ever do decide I want to end all of this suffering then I can do so in a relatively peaceful, untraumatic way. The thing is I don't even know if Barbiturates are still prescribed in the UK and no doctor would ever prescribe them for me anyway. I've asked a friend if he could try and get some for me but he is reluctant to do so.
Does anyone know of any other ways I could get hold of barbiturates. I'm not planning on taking my life whilst the Zyprexa is there but I just want to know that the option is there if I need it.
Maybe the above seems irrational but I think if somebody is suffering 24 hours a day I think it would be a perfectly rational thing to do. I know I'm not in excrutiating pain and to some people my idea of what suffering is would seem pretty lame (afterall I'm not being physically tortured or anything) but sometimes it just feels unbearable. Maybe I have a low "suffering" threshold.
I'm not and never have been the sort of person who will reach for a pain killer or a drug as soon as I experience the slightest bit of discomfort but the way I've felt over the last 9 years (on and off) has frankly been awful. I have very few good memories from the last 9 years, only between 2003 and 2005 when the antidepressants actually started to work and I was symptom free.
Denise
poster:Meltingpot
thread:921777
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091021/msgs/921777.html