Posted by ColoradoSnowflake on December 8, 2009, at 11:47:48
In reply to Re: Scott, did I go through Parnate withdrawal?, posted by kirbyw on December 8, 2009, at 6:58:02
Hi Rick:
Thank you for sharing so openly! You have, indeed, been through so much!
It's always amazing to me how so many of us Treatment Resistant Depression people here are so incredibly intelligent, really well educated, exquisitely sensitive and dealing with terribly painful childhood issues.
Having one's mother commit suicide must be one of the worst things to have happen to you. My good friend and neighbor across the street (for 28 years) killed herself about 3-4 years ago. Her 2 children had just graduated from college. She and I took walks a lot over the years and shared about our depresssions, what meds we were on etc. She was never suicidal (I have been my entire life), but she was very active and got severe fibromyalgia, and that pushed her over the brink. She had a great husband who adored her and she, him, but once you met her parents you knew where it came from and she had a sister who had committed suicide, too. Anyway, I can't go into my livingroom or out my front door without seeing their house. He (husband/dad) is still there. It makes me so sad, and I have witnessed the daily disaster it has been to her husband and kids (and many friends!). It gives me a daily dose of reasons why, no matter WHAT, I must never never never do that to my sons and grandchildren. But I can understand how she and your mother felt, what pain and hopelessness they were in.
Parnate is the ONLY drug that has taken away much of my desire to kill myself. Thank God!
It sounds like you have made the best of things and had a very active, fun, successful and interesting life! And being gay in those early days especially was not a walk in the park I'm sure! Good for you!!
I'm glad you found Parnate so early on after your breakdown! and were able to move ahead and put a good life together for yourself!
I've noticed that turning 60 is a new challenge as the body starts to talk back! Aging gracefully is not for sissies! If your dad is going strong (and mean) at 88 you have a good chance of living that long! That's a daunting thought, at least for me!
I'm so lucky I have my sons. They like me and are very good to me (not like daughters!, but good for guys) and my little grandchildren. I don't think they like me being more emotionally dependent on them since my boyfriend and girlfriend died and I make a big effort not to be.
Everyone will be here for Christmas this year including a newborn! I am frazzled with all the work of getting my house ready for so much company, but keep telling myself how lucky I am. The 3 sons will take over when they come and do all the cooking/ dishes/ organization, everything!
They all like to cook and hang out in the kitchen and their buddies from growing up will come over. So that will be fun. I try to keep remembering how blessed I am. They all like it that I'm in the same house they all grew up in, even though it's falling down around my head.
I'm happy for you that you are close to your brother and have made "families of your choice" along the way. Sometimes those are the very best ones!! and a lot more healthy!
Are you going back to Costa Rica? or going to retire to Chicago? That sounds funny, doesn't it!
Thanks for sharing some of your story. I think it helps all of us to know we're not out there suffering and struggling alone. That there are others who DO understand what we go through, how we feel, and how tough simple things can be sometimes.Best wishes and hugs,
Gayle
poster:ColoradoSnowflake
thread:928422
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091206/msgs/928520.html