Posted by manic666 on April 7, 2010, at 5:43:56
Last night i was happily playing giutar an posting to friends ,till 9pm when down stairs to whatch tv //half hour later ruth off to bed.//i stay up till 1 am no point in early to toss an turn/// go off to bed cant sleep, bad dreams sh*t an starting to get the shake,s //no big deal still no sleep .shake,s worsen to alarming rate,6/30 get up for tea an meds .//i said ruth im not good as the tea spills she replied you forgot your 2mg ativan last night//i thought a relasp was starting on my depression/// but my rigid routine had been broken an the ativan bit back with a vengence// i took 3mg this mornig an am just starting to level// i was level on 4mg a day but one slip up an you are in it////i was triggered as i thought back at the 10mg detox forced on me cold an then relented to 4mg//i carnt an dont want to live without the 4mg ativan thie is a 30 year addiction an no way can i loose the 4mg .i near on died by my own hand shedding s1x mg thats how bad the blue cobra is.the 40mg valium in one go i had to stop convultions , could not match in speed an releaf of 2mg ativan..// once in a bar i was chatting to a guy an the topic got on to meds//he was on a cocktail that big it scared the sh*t out me his weakest med he said was the 100mg valium a day//my wife now is administering the ativan at night it two scary to go that way again
poster:manic666
thread:942591
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100406/msgs/942591.html