Posted by mellow on September 16, 2010, at 21:27:58
Just stopped:
Celexa 10mg
Currently taking:
Lamictal 100
Topamax 50
Risperdal 0.5Fish Oil
B complex
B 12
Cal/Mag with D3
Vit C
High potency MultiI'm 5 days into a taper. I am totally off Celexa for the first time in 5 years. I was taking 20mg daily and went down to 10mg for two months and have now eliminated it. My Risperdal is as low as it has ever been. I was at 2mg and the doc cut it to 1mg for two months and just cut me down to 0.5mg last week.
As far as the tapering schedule goes I think I am ok. I can get in with my p doc within 2 days usually and can get him on the phone pretty easy too, but I don't think I am at that point of an emergency yet. I feel like there are butterflies in my stomach and I can't maintain my focus for anything. I find my mind racing and sometimes I am so preoccupied with the stupidest things I start to feel embarrassed for even entertaining some of the ideas that run through my brain.
I took some magnesium citrate powder tonight and have calmed down a little bit, but earlier I felt like my heart was going to pop out of my chest. I saw my therapist today and she doesn't understand why I am so hell bent on getting off my SSRI and the anti psychotic. She thinks I may need a large cocktail of drugs to function well, but I just feel like less of a person knowing I have to take all of these drugs year after year. I feel like the answers to my depression (or bipolar according to my official dx) are spiritual in nature. If I could find some acceptance or peace with myself I could get past the anxiety, the low self esteem and the mood volatility.
Right now I just don't know if I should stick with the taper and get down to just my mood stabilizers like my p doc is willing to try (In theory this should work on a bipolar patient) or if I should just submit to the fact that I need a large cocktail to find any peace in this world.
Some days I wish this crap would just stop. Do normal everyday people go through life feeling insecure with their heads running 100 mph like they are going to explode?
I just wish I could find the middle and stay there...I don't mean to come on here and just unload b/c I would like to have some intelligent discourse on my options. I have yet to try an SNRI so there is hope. Benzos and Stims are out because I'm a recovering addict (clean 4 years)
Anyhow I think I need to get through this taper so I will know what is mood swings/depression and what is just withdrawal/brain zaps etc.
Thanks for listening. You guys always help!
mellow
Bipolar II
Lamictal 100, Topamax 50, Citalopram 10, Risperdal 1, Magnesium Glycinate 400, B 100 complex, B-12 3000, Vit C 500, Vit D3 400, Omega Mood 2000, High potency multi
poster:mellow
thread:962670
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100908/msgs/962670.html