Posted by floatingbridge on April 13, 2011, at 12:20:56
In reply to Re: road mapping AD shortlist » floatingbridge, posted by hyperfocus on April 13, 2011, at 11:09:41
hp, I started crying reading your post. I want to be a good person, you're right there. But I look at my shell-shocked family, my scared pdoc who is now remote as all heck, my social anxiety that keeps me from people I need.
I open my mouth, out flies criticism. I've seen the I better cool it, mom's rabid again look in my son's eyes.
You can't convince me. I don't know what to do and why I hold on to this cr*p. My husband is toast. Everyone is worried or scared of me. I certainly am.
Instead, I could spend that time like other people do--and I don't mean *ss-hole litter bugs and oil spillers.
I can't enjoy my family. I always ruin it--yes, I heard you about the camera. On the outside. But on the inside, I feel like I just come apart in the shower; sometimes I avoid them.
I limit my son because of my fears and also physical illness. He already shows signs of anxiety.
Yes, I take on too much responsibility for everything. Still. The dissounance (sp!) between the inside and the outside feel far too great.
I just don't know what to say. I'm gonna be quiet and just try to drink in your kind words and not argue, o.k.?
Thank you.
fb
Then there is the take or not to take question. Medication. Shelve it. I see the pdoc next week, maybe for the last time. Amitryptal. My pdoc says I couldn't take the sides. But I guess I'm firing him, maybe. My gp suggested it, then withdrew it. Everyone is fixated on the d*mn taper (norco).
Oiy! Enough. Thanks for your ear.
How are you getting on?
fb
*a rose by any name
poster:floatingbridge
thread:982639
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110406/msgs/982658.html