Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on June 3, 2012, at 0:42:51
ok...now I am telling that this is not at all for attentional purposes, or for any other reason than what I am writing. I couple months ago I started studying lucifer, who he is, what does he do, who follows him, and how to get in contact with him. I started waking up at 2-3 am and would have this picture in my mind, I found this when I was doing my researched on him....a couple months ago.
I have been having extreme coping problems and also using methamphetamine to fix my condition with severe thought disorginzation and I have to say it will make you think evil thoughts, its a wicked drug, powerful, but also will leave you in horrid condition if it frequently used over again with psychiatric issue such has thought disturbance, thought derailment, it will stiumulate the mind to be hyperfocused and it seems that when you under the influece you in total control but when it wears off, oh my god...its left me feeling i've lost everything and I can't expierience pleasure for at least a day until my dopamine levels come back, if you use it when you have depleated dopamine in the brain that's when it will destroy the nuerons and the feeling of being on it when you have no joice left in your mind, its like stepping on gas petal of your car with no oil or gas...it ruins it, tears it down.
During this time, I was looking up something called spiritual guides kinda new age stuff and usally this is like totem animals, astral projection, spiritual awareness, psyche abilites usally connected with the spirit world, but out of all the choices... lucifer...shows up in my thoughts, , entity...? imaginary? i don't know....but in these dialoge that I directly rerember, told about his previous relationships with Michael the ArcAngel and Gabriel...and that they where all his brothers previously in heaven, and he misses them still today. Told about his idea of liberation in heaven and his changes he thought where best, that God is one minded to only his rules and demands all praise, and he had enough...and was sent to the dark places of universe...where there is mourning and death.
I have thought who would come out of their way to help some 25 year old that has little spirutal knowedge and value...i mean I would think in this situation he would be advising some figure like the Pope or prophets... or , but what happened a maybe a month or two ago...I tried to reach out to this spiritual force, and I wrote Gabriel [arcangel] for his spiritual power to help me, and to tell the God of Israel that I am deligently seeking a better way of life. Lucifer appeared, maybe it was telepathy... told me he read my letter and previous letters over the years...lurked around and told me he would give me assistance, I just have to say his name... I've begged the holy spirit to be with me and help me through my mental conditions that cause errors in work, school, and social situations. Now I feel responsible for doing these two faced of consulting of both good and evil, it just can't work.
The psychologist I see, was a previous ordained minister/pastor in africa belives that the spiritual relm of darkness is causing these disorders...he told me of the spirit of confusion, the spirit of lies, the spirit of danmation...and how these forces have infected people with skin dieaise, mental disorders, various problems with health that cause distress, with little medical reason. they just appear, and will get stronger over time. I've already done spiritual projects for him, pictures of both god, jesus, and lucifer, he explained he wants to study more, its not some lowlife evil spirit that makes the lights go on and off and moves things around in the house....and gets a kick out of scaring people...its a well known entity that is vary sophisticated in his tactics... he still has his qualities has he did in heaven, just turned to black.
My thoughts will think of the worst thing that could happen, but of course that's just my attidude and I was born that way...and methamphetamine withdrawl...its a nasty drug when used chronically over and over, it depends really on the person and their brain chemistry. I don't know...i really don't like to entertain my thoughts of things that could just flat out be b*llsh*t but this caught my attention because I googled lucifer and skin disiease...in the bible there was a man who had leprosy and was sent away from everyone else and then Jesus healed him...i've read extensive info that entities that where not aware of....can cause disorders..skin..mental..stomach and digestion disorders...its all in these sources I found...
http://www.soul-guidance.com/houseofthesun/spirits.htm
http://www.messagesfromspiritworld.info/Lucifer/02.html
I take 20mg of Zyprexa and .... there's something not right with it entering the blood stream, i've put it under my tongue...i got a blood test done and they said nothing is wrong...vitals are good. But ... its crazy because I feel vary sick some days like I have a virus in my digestive system, but when I try to tell the doctors, nothing shows up, all bodily functions are normal...got a blood test done...nothing wrong, normal. See that's why I posted that stuff about dark forces who inflict psychical and mental disorders that have little or no explanation. It's wierd, its as if any evidence of causes disappears on tests, and then still stays and doctors don't have a clue. Invisable things... I've read various articles of mental illness in africa that are clearly disturbing and this has been happening over 1000 years, it just people don't know how to explain cases that they are obvivious that its not a earthly condition.
Anyways, if you read my posts, thank you....
rj
I am not a scholar but I do understand distress.
Medications:
Prozac 60mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Lamictal 50mg
Clonodine .1mg X 3
Nuvigil 250mg
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:1019141
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120522/msgs/1019141.html