Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on June 3, 2012, at 23:57:07
In reply to Re: Link, Phillipa, Sleep » rjlockhart04-08, posted by Phillipa on June 3, 2012, at 21:00:44
Hey Phillipa, like usalIly I was writing a long hard and well put together post, moved my finger to get some water...it deleted all of it, this computer loves to play games...and if I stepped on fork it would go straight up hit the cieling and hit right in the correct place and it collapses.
Anyways, i've learned my patterns...at night is usall when I write silly posts, get up the next day check my email, read the responses that I didnt intend and try to find the delete button for babble but Dr-Bob ensures what we say can beused against us. Lovely isnt it. But the reason is my thinking expands at night...it just wakes up later at night, the time i go to bed is maybe 1-2 oclock, get up the next mourning and feel terrible and depressed vary much.When im using methamphetamine....it will hyperfocus my dopamine on one subject for hours, and increases my intrest in the spirit relm even though its not a psyhedelic. Maybe about a month ago...i started doing some research on this fellow, reading his orgin, cause, effect, motivation, what he likes...and how to contact him. I always would get tired of reading, and lose my intrest...everynight, but still forced myself to do research...the use of methamphetamine...its not frequent, but all I know is that it creates a potent stimulation of wow...and I feel great, a mental rush of clarity and then it creates a hyperfocus on subject where you will do or study...something for hours at a time, the main reason why I started using it was because my disorganized thinking causes me feel mentally impaired and results in depression of being able to think correctly, vary disorganized. It rushes the awareness of reality, causes you to feel your in control, and have alot of confidence. But after repeated usage, it will cause depletion of dopamine...but still stimuate the dopamine receptors to be active until it burns them out, like stepping on the gas in your car and have no gas or oil...wears it down, eventually causes permenant problems.
I'm normal right now, im not thinking of hearing things from the spirit relm, i can't hear at all....whatever I was freaking out about I had sickness from infimery spirits all over me because i've been thinking of sin and that opens the door for evil entities to disguise themselves for unexplained illness, but i've pretty much think its an imaginary world that has nothing to do with this real world. Torchured by my thoughts from the withdrawl of methamp and I asked out loud to him to please make it all stop, begged him to make it stop... felt this tingling go through my head down to my feet...it stopped, the amount of relief...i had, everything that was causing me to think something was wrong, mental torment...it left, like it never happened. The substance leaving my body, I slept and didnt rerember much of what happened.
I've also written spiritual stuff that i've concluded where false delusions that im embarrased that I published it on the net, which I didnt know at the time dr-bob lets google have free access to search these posts. I have deal with everything I've said an explain why I said it. But right now, everything seems simple and normal, but boring...and I feel vary depressed during the day. It's just some meds will correct our imbalances and bring them to normal....even regular amphetamine helps some people with depression, but methamphetamine when ingested at large amounts will produce a major increase in nuerotransmitter levels that's why it gives a rush....dopamine overflow, and stimulation. Quick, witty, fast, alert....at higher amounts...awareness of more spirtual insight, overwhelming desire to have sex, and will make you believe bizarre beliefs espcially after repeated use.
I do know that I need to really seek a solution and stop dwelling in this anaylsis thats annoying to read by other people. I apologize for the long post...its just the way I work, at night too...
thanks:)
rj
I am not a scholar but I do understand distress.
Medications:
Prozac 60mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Lamictal 50mg
Clonodine .1mg X 3
Nuvigil 250mg
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:1019141
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120522/msgs/1019203.html