Posted by BarbaraCat on May 31, 2004, at 16:46:35
In reply to Re: Anyone give up meds? - YES!, posted by Nemo2 on May 30, 2004, at 13:20:04
Dear Nemo,
Thanks so much for your post. 'Sweet Surrender' happens to be one of my favorite songs of all times and I appreciate getting the lyrics to it.I'm having a bit of a down day. Nothing too awful, just tired, a little sick feeling and verging on weepy - just want to live Life with alot more fulfillment and joy instead of carrying this heavy feeling all the time. So I hope you don't mind some philosophical meandering in answer to your post.
Yes, living mindfully and continuing to reign in our poor terrified egos is the real practice here in this life. Surrendering to the Unknowable and giving thanks for it all. Hard, but what else can we do? All my railing against the unfairness of it all doesn't help the situation one bit. My attitude has to heal along with my body, and there's the real challenge.
It you're not familiar with Eckhart Tolle who wrote 'The Power of Now', by all means, add him to your reading list. He's also done a few talks on tape/CS, all of which are great. He went through horrible anxiety and depression most of his life and came out the other side. Pema Chodrum, a very down to earth US-born Buddhist nun is very worth checking out as well. These two were of huge support to me in the last few years - encouragement to just be with it as the highest spiritual practice of all, saying 'Yes' to the Unknowable - Sweet Surrender.
Glad you're doing what you can to heal on all levels. Keeping healthy (minimum substances, lotsa exercise and healthy lifestyle) is essential to getting well - gotta give ourselves a fighting chance. It's difficult to keep on a mindful track when the body/brain is distracted with pain. Oh boy, the craving to take something, anything to feel better NOW! - even when we know it's gonna cause trouble tomorrow.
I keep thinking of Frodo and Sam's journey with the Ring. We're all dealing with our Rings in a quest just as harrowing and important in our own personal world's survival. Why we're doing this, who knows, but that's how it is and, like Gandalf says, it seems to be about doing our best with this time we've been given. I try to keep this in mind when I feel really sh*tty and just wanna screw it.
Please keep us posted with your amino trials. I'm trying to stick to one at a time now for experiment purposes. So far, Tyrosine is a good one - and it's good for hypothyroidism which I have, but I have to watch for too much activation. I jump onto so many bandwagons attempting to feel better and end up having no idea what's doing what. There's got to be a better way than causing further suffering from the side effects of psych meds.
I'm currently doing a detox from very high mercury levels. I suspect this mercury thing has been at the root of my inability to sustain any positive therapeutic results from meds or nutrition, and has been a key player in my fibromyalgia. Until I get this nasty entrenched stuff out of me, I believe I'll continue to bump up against and resonate with the same old darkness. As I detox from it and feel the deep cellular pain and static move (and hopefully move out), I get to know the wily ways of this Mercury energy.
Wouldn't it be great to have a nice long stretch of feeling absolutely fantastic, just to retrain the brain into remembering what that's like again? There's so much beauty, wonder, fascination in this life, and I long to really get this, to not be cut off from it, even if physical and mental discomfort are the cards I'm dealt. Thanks for listening. I feel better having expressed some of this. - Barbara
> Thanks for sharing your journey. Living in the NOW is one point that you made to repeat over and over. I recently read Thich Nhat Hanh's book about Buddhism and Christianity and came away with one key anchor. Mindfulness is my goal. To practice it. Living in this moment. Thinking about this brought to memory a John Denver song called "Sweet Surrender" which helped me through some very difficult life problems in 1986-1990.
>
> ............................
> Lost and alone on some forgotten highway
> Traveled by many, remembered by few
>
> Lookin' for something that I can believe in
> Lookin' for something that I'd like to do with my life
>
> There's nothing that ties me
> And nothing that binds me
> To something that might have been true yesterday
>
> Tomorrow is open and right now it seems
> To be more than enough
> To just be here today..........
>
> .......And I don't know what the future is holding in store.....I don't know where I'm going and I'm not sure where I've been
>
> THERE'S A SPIRIT THAT GUIDES ME
> A LIGHT THAT SHINES FOR ME
>
> MY LIFE IS WORTH THE LIVING AND
> I DON'T NEED TO SEE THE END
> .........................
>
> I don't need to set expectations and goals as much as I just need to take care of myself at my own pace and live in the moment. I don't need to see the end. The joy is in the journey. Aspire only to the process and enjoy the quality of it. I try not to care much about what happens at the end.
>
> I am in the early stages of finding good results with amino acid supplements and stay away from sugar, alcohol and caffiene as much as I can, but not completely. I work out (running and lifting) 3 or 4 times a week. Just when I feel good about it, which is not every day. I'm not a masochist, as you put it so well.
>
> I tried Lexapro for 11 weeks and learned how bad SSRI's are for my own situation. Each to his own.
>
> Your post was very inspirational to me and I thank you for it.
>
> Nemo2
>
>
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:323524
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/alter/20040418/msgs/352442.html