Posted by liliths on December 28, 2006, at 7:22:34
In reply to There's no need to apologize! ;-) » liliths, posted by Quintal on December 27, 2006, at 22:10:48
hi Q
thank you for your continued kindness.
The last time I went to my pdoc and complained about how depressed I was and that I wanted to consider changing some meds, he told me I just needed more exercise and structure in my life - it wasn't the meds, it was me!! OH DUH!!
This was right after finishing school and passing my boards... before I applied for my license. The crash was awful and idiot that I am, I bought into his laziness and thought indeed it was all my fault!
He then turned out to be totally short-sighted as well as a potential REAL threat to my getting my license, I can't call him for anything! In fact, I should probably be looking to switch pdocs. His letter made me out to be an insane, suicidal puddle, 'saved' by his "med regimen" and basically threatened the return of my suicidal ideation should they tamper with it. His timeline was off, he wrote a 'version' of events I had already checked with a Health Professional about as not having to reveal on my evaluation and his version is TOTALLY skewed to boot.
If I were to read his letter, I certainly wouldn't give me a license and I was advised to not submit it due to its inflammatory nature, as well as the inconsistencies. He totally lost sight of what I needed and became enraged and defensive about having 'his' judgement challenged and his letter was basically a justification at my expense
I had never heard of klonopin exacerbating depression until recently. What is the xanax dose that is comparable to 1mg klonopin? Again, finding someone to prescribe it is impossible as PRN is actually hoping to take the klonopin from me. They had mentioned contacting my pdoc about it, so of course, I'm living in fear they WILL contact him and he WILL go off on his tirade! I'll know when I show up for the hearing.
If the Board or PRN contacts him and he brings up all that stuff, it'll be the first thing out of their mouths and I probably will NOT be issued a license
you're right about my having tapered my dose. I should probably enjoy what small measure of help it may be able to give me right now. I think I've been punishing myself for having gotten into this mess. Additionally, I felt I should get used to being without them.
Maybe I'll go back. But there is that part of me that just wants out from all pharmaceuticals.. even though I highly doubt I could do it. I am so angry with these 'powers that be' having taken control of my life, I don't want to give them anything. As I said, I want off the grid!
TCA's are a no-no due to the weight gain and though lamotrigine looked promising at first, it doesn't sound like an great choice
If I bring up naltrexone, the idiots at PRN will assume I am admitting to being an opioid addict as they are completely blind to off-label use
My biggest problem is finding someone willing to prescribe anything other than what I take though the herbs you mention bear looking into
thanks for all your help. I can look into the xanax once I know the ratio. It's 'possible' though not necessarily likely, my primary may write me some prescriptons. but overall, she is very resistant to taking over my psych meds, even though I have always been the one to 'suggest' the drugs to my pdocs anyway and between this board and my own research, could probably do just as well, if not better, dealing with just a physician and not some ego maniac
keep me posted (on babblemail if necessary) on what you find out about the oxycontin nasal spray. Thanks for sending the post to your friend
you ARE truely a gift :)
namaste,
lilith
> Hi Liliths,
>
> You don't have to apologise for being depressed - that's why most of us are here! We've been in that dark place ourselves and we want to help you find the way out.
>
> I wonder if it's really a good idea to quit the hydrocodone? Is it worth feeling so bad just because of those b*startds at the PRN? I think you really need to be kind to yourself and take whatever you need to take to feel well. Could you call your pdoc and explain how bad you're feeling?
>
> Is there another benzo besides Klonopin you could use? I wonder if that may be making the depression worse - how about Xanax? Also, there's lamotrigine to consider - it was *very* effective for me in combo with a benzo for two years and I'd still be taking it if I hadn't been forced to quit benzos. And maybe a tricyclic such as clomipramine? Have you tried it? It's very effective for severe depression and anxiety along with obsessive thoughts.
>
> >did I read correctly that you weren't currently on any prescribed meds? I'd like to go off of everything and use herbal supplements, except it's simply too damn expensive!! My insurance won't cover them. Nice racket the pharmaceutical companies have with insurance companies. imagine if people could be covered for their supplements!
>
> Yes, I'm not taking any prescribed meds right now, but if I was feeling as bad as you describe I would go back on them. You could add something like Rhodiola to your current regime - have you ever tried it? It can be amazingly effective especially as an augmenter. There's also ashwaganda which can prevent or even reverse opiate tolerance. Did you ever try low dose naltrexone to boost your natural endorphins? I wonder if the PRN would be more approving and tolerant of that - most likely they would.
>
> Liliths, please think carefully about the hydrocodone. If it is an effective antidepressant for you then how about going back to your normal dose for now?
>
> Q
>
poster:liliths
thread:712379
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/alter/20061218/msgs/716883.html