Posted by calamityjane on March 4, 2005, at 12:52:27
In reply to please help with 16 son, posted by starrc68 on March 4, 2005, at 12:19:11
I do not have personal parental experience with dealing with this issue (b/c my daughter is only 3)...however, my brother is 6 years older than me and for as long as I can remember he has been an addict. Weed IS (as we all know) the gateway drug, and that is how my brother started. Today he is the type of person you see in movies...strung out druggie...steals...cruel. All because of the drugs.
With that said, I am not trying to scare you. I just have some advice that I hope you can take to heart....
The BIGGEST mistake my mom ever made (and still makes today) is always being there for my brother. In other words, she is a codependent and every time he has ever gotten into trouble she has always been right there to save the day. He has never had to learn from his own mistakes. He knows that if he steals from her its okay because she "will always love him".
You HAVE to nip this in the bud now. Become strict, make rules....if he doesnt follow them and chooses to run away LET HIM. It will be the hardest thing you could ever do, but I truly believe that is the only way to change a childs behavior.
Again, I don't pretend to know how hard it is to deal with this as a mother, but I do know how badly I was hurt as a child by my brother and his behavior....and I watched and learned from my mothers mistakes.
I have practically nothing to do with him to this day....not until he is changed..
Anyway, I know that was long-winded but I hope it helps. It will get better. Don't give in.
poster:calamityjane
thread:466455
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20050226/msgs/466465.html