Posted by cockeyed on May 12, 2005, at 0:53:19
In reply to My father is starving himself..., posted by Colleen D. on May 5, 2005, at 18:17:21
Colleen, You are not under stress, You are at war. You and your kids...that should be your focus. I'm a bi-polar alcoholic who is not drinking so who am I to give advice. But Susan47 is so right. You have to be like a soldier. You have to take care of YOU and be there for your kids. We alcoholics can actually take care of the s..t, as long as we're not flat out piss-*ssed drunk{pardon my language} You should focus on getting help for YOU. Your father has lived his life, your kids have not had a chance to live theirs. It may be hard but you also have a husband who needs you...maybe to kick him in the butt. I don't know enough to make prescriptions or give advice. But I've got an opinion. Go to Al-Anon if you can and bring your kids. There are others in your boat. Believe me. I'd tell you to get your husband to go to AA. NOT TO HELP HIM STOP DRINKING but to ask for help to cope with his situation. You should not have to do everything yourself. You can't do it. Be selfish and call every damn agency or hot line you can and let people know YOU need real help. You deserve the love and concern of people who are more than willing to go out of their way, or to do what they can really do well, that is help others. I know AA saved me in ways that had nothing to do with booze. Al-anon can do the same. People say all these groups are cults, etc. but they work because people like you have gotten together and really help one another. Sorry to go on like this but you owe yourself some chance at a little peace of mind. You're not alone and you're not begging. You're facing life in a virtual war. You should save you and your kids. Your father is making his decision. I don't know how sick he is or infirm. But maybe he could help in some way. But who the hell am I to tell you. But I can tell your husband something. If he's gonna drink, he'd better do it carefully. And if he won't you should talk to some cops. I'm serious. Not make a complaint but ask for advice. And if necessary tell your husband you'll call the cops. My wife had to warn me and that rang my bell. And pray, even if you don't believe, pray. And keep hitting this site. It's a godsend.
poster:cockeyed
thread:494184
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20050226/msgs/496722.html