Posted by Mal on July 27, 2005, at 21:31:59
In reply to How do you know you want kids?, posted by Angela2 on June 14, 2005, at 22:00:32
> This may seem like there is a simple answer, but, I dunno...I don't know if I want kids. I don't want them now, but I hear how fulfilling they are. So maybe I will want them in the future. I think I'd be a good mom. I just want to wait like 10 years before having one. I want to live my life a little first. start a career. get a boyfriend. What is having a child like?
Boy, have I asked this question myself!
All my life I said I didn't want kids. I have a very analytical nature... I think things out before taking action. Part of the reason I thought I didn't want kids was a fear I couldn't have them... My Mom's sister (who would make a GREAT MOM) never could have any children, and my heart broke for her. I saw that if I set my heart on having kids, my body might or might NOT be able to comply. So I decided NOT to set my heart on kids. Besides, I could think of 1,000 inconveniences and troubles that come with having kids. THen when I hit ~29, I started feeling depressed. Couldn't put my finger on WHY. I was married to a terriffic, stable man, and I had my health, a BS and a MS and a good job but something was missing. Finally it dawned on me that I wanted to have a baby. It took quite a while for me to admit it to myself that I wanted a baby, because for sooo looonnnggg I had said "NO KIDS". But when I decided I had to try I told my husband I was quitting the pill. He wasn't thrilled with the idea. We didn't TRY to get pregnant, but I didn't try not to either. It took a year to get pregnant.
Now I am 34 with (1) 2 yr. old daughter. It has been the best thing I have ever done, the best surprize of my life. I say surprize, because I was skeptical- I didn't believe what everyone says about having kids. I expected things to be far worse, more difficult than they were. I think that waiting till I was older helped me handle what little difficulty there was.
I do NOT recommend being a single parent. I stay home with my daughter and at the end of the day I am so happy to see my husband arrive, so he can handle the little one for a while. If I didn't have that break every night I would be a much more stressed person! This isn't to say she is difficult, but it is tiring (if not exhausting) to take really good care of a little one.
Best wishes to you...
MAL
poster:Mal
thread:512823
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20050226/msgs/534507.html