Posted by gardenergirl on January 29, 2005, at 21:19:40
In reply to Not wanting to recover, posted by Racer on January 29, 2005, at 18:05:00
Racer,
Warning, this is not a Moommmmeeee! post. This is tough. Stop reading now if you don't want tough.
I see you as being between a rock and a hard place. I can understand that you are feeling miserable with the changes, and it doesn't seem worth it. So going back to being how you were...that has its appeal, I'm sure. But you do know that you won't stay like that, right? Staying sick is only temporary. What happens next, your body shutting down, is permanent. Death is permanent. No do overs. No second trials. No changing your mind.Now do I want you to be in the position you are in? NO WAY! I wouldn't want to be there, either, for anything. But this is your conflict as I see it. It absolutely, positively SUCKS that you are in this place. You did not sign up for it. You do not deserve it. But you do have to deal with it. Just like my hubby has to deal with diabetes. Everyday for the rest of his life. It stinks.
Scream, yell, rail at me, rail at the world. But don't give up. You CAN fight this fight.
Okay, just a touch of Mooommmeee. I'm so sorry that recovery takes the shape it does. It sounds like cruel and unusual punishment, the way the weight you gain centers where it does. Someone with a distorted body image certainly does not need that kind of reinforcement. It sounds just awful. I'm so proud of you for talking about it...here, in your group, with your T, with your RD. That means you are aware of it, and it can't bite you too hard on the butt.
You can do this. And you are not alone in it.
(((((Racer))))
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:449873
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20041128/msgs/449963.html