Posted by B2chica on March 11, 2005, at 17:55:51
In reply to Steinhauer: Guest expert on eating disorders, posted by Dr. Bob on March 11, 2005, at 11:29:30
they've tagged me with an ED label.
i agree in a sense that yes i have issues. but i don't think i'm fat, i don't have loosing weight in mind. no body image issues.
of course there are control issues but mostly if i restrict or abuse lax it's because of this 'process'.
1. it disgusts me to see people shovel this "matter" into an orafice of their body, heck why the mouth-why solid foods why can't we drink with fluidity our sustanance?2.the design of the human body is so intricate, everything has it's purpose. but it seems that we should be self sustaining.
3.is eating the fatal flaw of humanities design?
4.everything that should go into this whole in my head feels so unnatural that i want it out as soon as possible. due to some medication i stumbled onto use of laxatives and soon started abusing them finding that this eased this pressure and hatred of this 'flawed' function.
FYI-i just finally started therapy with a hopefully great psychologist.
we just talked yesterday and he and i discussed this feeling that i have-actually we had a great conversation and he 'understands' where i'm coming from (can't believe it-others view it as only a weight issue-not my case).i guess i'm not sure there's a question here. but i wanted to state in writing what was going on in my corner.
due to the results it's been categorized as an eating disorder...logically it is.
But have been very suicidal and recently hospitalized because of it. i'm not sure i'm past that but moving to this issue that i'm sure has caused some permanant effects to my body, i view my labeled 'disorder' as my struggle with needs of humanity and my lack of wanting to be a part of it.would appreciate any comments regarding my view.
(oh, and welcome to babble!)
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:469675
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20041128/msgs/469797.html