Posted by Augustina on March 16, 2005, at 10:50:00
Dr. Steinhauer,
I'm currently seeing a therapist but have just started talking about my eating disorder with him--I have a history of bulimia,laxative abuse, compulsive overeating, chronic dieting, compulsive exercise. I've been a dieter since age 10yo and am now 38yo.
Right now I'm considered a "normal" wt. for my height but have strong tendencies to overexercise and restrict and I suffer from amenorrhea. I guess I'm classified as EDNOS at this point.My question is this: is it considered "normal" to flip-flop between the desire to want to get better and the desire to want to keep losing weight, get thinner, restrict, etc...? I think deep down inside I do want to just let go of this ED and all my rules and body image distortions but then a part of me still wants to keep my way of thinking b/c I'm afraid of losing control and gaining weight.
How does one even start to make changes? Does recovery start with the behaviors that I do or with examining my emotions first?
Sorry for such a long winded question but I'd appreciate any feedback you have to offer! Thank-you.
-Augustina
poster:Augustina
thread:471656
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20050314/msgs/471656.html