Posted by Racer on September 12, 2005, at 13:05:36
In reply to Re: I don't know if anything I can say might help... » Racer, posted by 10derHeart on September 12, 2005, at 12:24:02
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> For taking the time to write all that. I so love reading your posts. They make me think, and you aren't afraid to "wonder aloud" about all sorts of things, and to ask hard questions.Thank you. It means a lot to me to read that.
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> But right this minute, today, this week, whatever - I just can't go there. This issue is so huge, has been so thoroughly avoided by me over at least 2 years of therapy, that I just have to be careful.Isn't that the way of it? I know for me that I tend to let this sort of thing build up to monumental proportions so that it's too frightening to open even a crack of daylight onto it. Even though I know that I'm scaring myself away from healing, I still do it. {shrug} Guess if it were easy, we'd all be well, huh?
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> My current T. is gently poking around it, as I've thrown out jokes and rude comments (about myself) to him, giving him an obvious opening...but I still can't quite go there.
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>You know, I've done that, too. My current T is much better at others I've seen at calling me on those things, even when something just slips out without my intending it. I do tend to make comments kinda *hoping* they'll be picked up, but with this T, she's caught things I didn't even know I'd said! The other day, I guess I said something about 'needing to get my weight back down' without realizing I'd said it. I meant to say something about how hard it was to accept my higher weight, but that's apparently not what came out of my mouth. I was trying not to let on that I was trying to lose weight, but slipped up and she called me on it in a big way -- wouldn't let me go back to talking about the previous subject until we had worked out what I meant about that weight thing.
It helps me to know that I'm not alone in the sorts of things that I am going through. We may be seeing different sides of this mountain, but it's the same mountain. Maybe we'll meet on top one day.
poster:Racer
thread:552715
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20050314/msgs/554238.html