Posted by Maxime on October 4, 2005, at 15:41:52
In reply to Re: I don't get it, posted by Sonya on October 4, 2005, at 12:44:53
Talk to your T. Your pdoc doesn't seem to "get it". I mean you told him and he brushed you off. Eating disorders are complex beasts. It's going to take time to work on this.
I know that feeling of being trapped. I feel that way now. I wish I could tell you how to lose that feeling. You see, even though I was hospitalised for going down to such a low weight, "my issues" were never dealt with. I gained the weight in the hospital so they were happy and they let me go. Then I as soon as I left I started to lose the weight again. I went down to 80 pounds. (keep in mind that I am only 5 feet tall).
So I struggle every day and I have not received proper therapy. Part of that is because I have never been ready to recover and also because I could never afford a therapist. I still don't want to recover. I want to lose weight because I am fat. I really am. And I starve and starve and I don't lose the weight.
I think once you open up to your T that you are going to feel much better. I know she won't brush you off. Talk to your "T" and then see how you feel. Until then, just keep posting here. :-)
Don't try and change your eating right now ... it's your coping mechanism. I don't usually tell people to starve themselves, but until you see your "T" you need to feel like you are in control. Just do one thing ...DRINK AS MUCH WATER AS POSSIBLE. If you get dehydrated you are going to feel awful. Plus drinking a lot of water flushes you out. It's good for you and it won't make you gain weight. Okay?When is your next appt. with your T?
You are not alone.
Maxime
> I really feel trapped now! I see my pdoc this Friday. Should I bring this up with him? I doubt there's anything he could do anyway (heaven forbid he might put me on fat drugs again). I'll talk to my T at my next session about it. I'm so afraid of gaining the weight back; I just won't do it, even if I have to eat less than I am now. I can't think about what will happen (if I'll be happy) when I get to 137 lbs. I'm trying not to think about that. Just taking one day at a time and controlling what I eat is all I can deal with right now. But I feel scared and trapped.
poster:Maxime
thread:561514
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20050314/msgs/562793.html