Posted by Racer on August 31, 2007, at 11:28:22
To see oursel's as others see us!
I quit group therapy last night. There were a lot of reasons for it, some I don't suspect my T would approve, some she might approve, and some it doesn't matter if she approves or not. (ie: another member whom I just can't tolerate right now; taking more classes and concerned about being able to keep up; and the cost. So, time and money issues, which are fine. And an interpersonal thing, which she'd probably like me to work through.) We didn't talk about it much during group, but at least everyone got to hear it from my lips, rather than after the fact from our T.
One woman, though, said something about me that shocked me. I can't remember the specifics, but she basically told me to stop worrying about my body, what I looked like. Of course my brain immediately went to, "Easy for you to say -- you're beautiful with a great figure..." But it was shocking to hear her say what she did, that the only lasting impression she had of me was that one thing: me feeling fat. I'm the biggest person in the room, by a long shot, and I can't stand it. Yes, I've said that, because it's easy in that room to feel even fatter than I usually do. And I'm so ashamed of how fat I am, I'm probably saying it first, before anyone else does.
Plus, of course, being this big, it seems ridiculous to be called "anorexic."
Anyway, it was a big shock to hear that, and I've been trying to take it in ever since. Has anyone else ever experienced anything like that? Hearing something from someone else that gives you a real gob-smacking about how others might see you?
poster:Racer
thread:779954
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20070820/msgs/779954.html