Posted by ClearSkies on September 2, 2006, at 21:26:46
In reply to Approval, and anxiety, and being Good Enough, posted by Racer on September 2, 2006, at 20:43:06
> If it's no use at all, why do I still try? Why am I so caught up in it? Why does it eat me alive?
>It's hard to turn this around. To make it not just "ok" to be how we are, but to actually APPROVE how we are. I'm aghast that I might ever consider that my shape, which is currently Round, is not only ok, but it's a good shape for me to be. I'm healthy, I'm getting to be of a certain age, I am fit-ish, and I can get around on my own, with a little help from my rump from time to time.
Being a Round shape means several things to me: that I'm my mother's daughter, with half of her genes contributing to my roundness, and I'm getting older in a very predictable way.My yoga teacher gave me an article from Yoga Journal in which a student meditated upon their own appearance, in order to embrace and love it. It sounds insincere for me to say that I could do something like this right now - I certainly can't - and yet I can see that it's going to be what really helps me conquer anxiety.
My baby steps in getting to approval of myself have been to stop reminding myself that I used to be a different shape. I do this by removing the clothes that no longer fit me. Another step is that I take good care of my skin. It may be of a larger surface area than I want, but I keep it clean, soft, and protected. There are those toesies of mine. I have to believe that there aren't people who look at me and think, "say, didn't she used to be prettier?". In fact, I know that people generally don't notice much at all about my appearance, or anyone else's, for that matter.
How do we get to that acceptance of ourselves? How do we stop judging ourselves? Again, just noticing that we do hold these judgements against ourselves can allow us to see how absurd they are. So we think we aren't Good Enough? Well, what are the consequences of that? What will that prevent us from being able to do?
> I think it's time for me to end this post. I'm crying again, and I'm just tired of doing that right now.I'm sorry you're crying, Racer. And I think that by using your rump to go down a precarious hill, you were showing uncommon good sense and self preservation. I kept flashing on me tumbling down and skinning a knee, or turning an ankle, or falling into a puddle, or all of those. I think I've done all of those... so how about you were Smart Enough instead of Good Enough?
CS
poster:ClearSkies
thread:682455
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060827/msgs/682476.html