Posted by ClearSkies on September 17, 2006, at 21:53:04
I guess this goes here. I have been feeling ok for the last couple of days and decided to buy groceries! and maybe cook. I don't cook fancy, just fresh. I go to one particular grocery store. Nothing special but I know where everything is, and which check out clerks are duds.
Usually I shop by myself because my husband gets so anxious and frustrated by grocery shopping that it completes freaks me out and I let it ruin entire days at a time.
Today, I shopped at another, smaller branch; and my husband accompanied me. I couldn't find fully half of my shopping list - things like apricots and fresh mint were NOWHERE. I don't substitute unless I have no other choice. I tried to do it with my incomplete list, and in dashing all over the store, figured out that I just couldn't fudge that much of a recipe.
I turned to my husband (who was really doing just fine, I think because my fit was keeping him otherwise occupied), and declared,"I can't handle this, I'm going outside the store," I walked out, sat on a chair, and cried like my heart was breaking. I haven't had a public meltdown like that in so very long. This utterly broke me.
Which leads me to this board. What is so weak about my control over emotions that I will blubber like this with an audience? I am so embarassed, even though not a single person noticed me with my head bent down. Which actually really made me feel more like a nobody.
poster:ClearSkies
thread:686962
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060827/msgs/686962.html