Posted by Amandafran on November 14, 2006, at 19:33:36
Ok. So. My self esteem is almost non existant..if htat makes any sense. I have been having panic attacks for months and cannot get my doctors to give me any meds...I started back to school yet my family is not very supportive...and yet I am making A's for the first time in my LIFE...I went back to college after a five year break. I walk around feeling like everyone hates me, I feel ugly, stupid, unliked and unloved and even my T is getting irritated with me. I was recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and so it is like nothing I say and do is right anymore and that if I am stressing out or overanalyzing something...he seems to think that it is my 'disorder' working in full swing. Personally, I dont think that is fair to say. It might be true but I have gotten to the point where I feel like I dont even know who I am anymore and of course it is making me more angry and depressed..
Im never happy ..nothing ever makes me happy anymore. All I want is to be happy and my therapist is really helpful but he is also the kind of therapist that is straight foward, rational, to the point, honest..BRUTALY HONEST and it can be annoying at times..so we have this kind of love hate thereputic relationship ..but then again the BPD trait is a love/hate relationship with people...either you love them or you hate them. I cannot win. I feel lower than dirt.
Someone please say something to brighten my thoughts.
AF
poster:Amandafran
thread:703496
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20061105/msgs/703496.html