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Re: Sometimes when I post » adelaide curtis

Posted by ClearSkies on January 9, 2008, at 11:11:17

In reply to Re: Sometimes when I post, posted by adelaide curtis on January 9, 2008, at 9:41:29

> sometimes i just have to tell people what i want.
> i have "given away" so many of my products in self promotion i am left feeling used when all i wanted was a little praise, or a future sale.
> posting here has left me bitter and sad..(so many miscommuications and images out that are not me at all)
> i only email you (and c)- sometimes ill throw my mom a line when i am drunk.
> I love your site. I think it is real classy. I wish you luck :)
> lvs

We talked about this in therapy yesterday, and I posted about it in my blog - about how my email to all those people was really a sign on my forehead saying, please "love me." Recognizing that makes it hurt no less, yet I have to be honest with myself, yes?

I love getting your emails. Sometimes I wish when I've thrown questions out there that they'd get thrown back at me (with an answer) - but when you email each other almost every single day like we do, it's probably inevitable that stuff gets lost between the cracks. Isn't it amazing that we've been doing this for so long? And isn't it an enriching part of our lives? I certainly think so!

I truly am sorry your experiences here have left you feeling bitter and sad. I think I moved through those feelings at some point, a couple of years ago maybe? when things became quite intense for me here. I kind of broke through, and it became somehow easier for me to walk away when I could recognize that I was starting to sink in too deep for me. It's had nothing to do with having things to do outside of babble, and everything to do with my inner life, in my head. Learning what my own limitations are, as far as how I'm able to participate in discussions here, has been a liberating experience for me. Knowing what I'm NOT capable of is as freeing as knowing what I AM capable of.

Thank you so much for your encouragement, AD, and for your help along the way.

CS


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poster:ClearSkies thread:805078
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20071011/msgs/805319.html