Posted by Angel Girl on June 30, 2002, at 14:46:10
I was brought up by a mother who always went to church every Sunday and still does. She took all of us children to Sunday School when we were young. My father claimed to be an athiest. Even though I have always and still believe in God, I stopped attending church in my teen years. I don't believe you have to attend church to believe in God. You can worship him and pray to him from anywhere.
Since last summer I've been suffering from severe depression with suicidal ideation and a few months ago my therapist diagnosed me with BPD. I've recently gone through a whole battery of psychiatric tests to find out if I really have BPD. I get my final assessment this Tuesday but in my heart of hearts I KNOW I suffer from BPD. I have all the symptoms. It doesn't take any tests to tell me whether I do or not and if the tests results show I don't then I have to question their ability to test properly.
Anyway, I feel extremely strongly that God has abandoned me several months ago for whatever reason, I do not understand. I think that he has a plan for all of us and he does not always reveal to us what that plan is. I have no idea why I was placed on this earth, what his plan is for me or why he allows me to suffer so much.
But I strongly believe that he is allowing me to suffer, he has turned his back to me. Am I supposed to be learning some great lesson in all this??? If I am, I'm not seeing it. So if I'm not learning it, does that mean I will continue to suffer until I figure it out????
Why does God abandon me when I need him the most?
Angel Girl
poster:Angel Girl
thread:285
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20020527/msgs/285.html