Posted by Snowie on December 10, 2003, at 23:37:03
In reply to I'm not sorry he's dead, posted by Notalis on December 10, 2003, at 13:20:55
Notalis,
I understand your feelings. My father isn't dead just yet, but it could happen at any time - his heart won't last much longer. My mother, his ex-wife, whom he divorced many moons ago with 5 young children to marry a young socialite, openly says that she looks forward to the day since her social security check will almost double. None of us "kids" from his first marriage are really close to him, and if any of us grieves, I'm sure it will not be for what was, but for what should have been but wasn't and finally never will be.
Best wishes.
Snowie
> My father died last January.
> My two sisters are still upset, I don't know about my brother, my mom is pretty bad off, but I feel like I could care less.
> I don't miss him.
> I'm glad he's dead. He caused so much grief to all of us.
> One sister and my brother used drugs and alcohol to get away from their feelings about him.
> The other sister moved far away and maintained a decent relationship with him over the phone.
> I was left behind when he was at his worst and he really treated my mom and I like crap.
> Now I talk to my sister and she goes on about how she saw someone who looked like dear old dad and she gets upset. I don't know how to respond!
> I don't want to rehash bad times.
> If they have good memories, or have blocked memories, I don't want to say anything.
> I just need someone to tell me I'm not totally a freak.
> My mother is having a hard time and THAT is what's hard for me.
> Even if he was a complete B**tard I suppose it would be hard to be alone after 40 years.
> BTW, I started posting on another board about my depression, and just came here by chance (curiosity).
> But maybe it's something I needed to do--put it out there, that I'm glad he's gone.
poster:Snowie
thread:288419
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20030903/msgs/288653.html