Posted by Shortelise on January 5, 2005, at 12:36:46
In reply to Fear of Doctors (warning: graphic!), posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 4, 2005, at 15:16:12
Miss H, I am in a similar boat. I have to do my own breast exams because the very idea of someone else doing it makes me want to run as fast as I can in every direction at once.
Last year, I found a gyn who is somewhere between a man and a woman. He looks like a man, acts like a woman, and is the most reassuring person, so kind and gentle. He's been a gyn for about 8 years so is young - early 40's I think. I had my first PAP in five years.
And I found a new doc last year because the one I'd had for 16 years retired a couple of years ago. The new one is in his fifties, comfortable, and kind. He works out of a teaching clinic so I know that sometime in the few years before he retires I'll meet another doc there who will suit me.
Neither of them touch me unless necessary.
I have given it some thought, and I believe that lots and lots of women are really weird about seeing docs. Docs have to be somewhat sensitive to this, don't they? Mine are. But I live in Canada where I can "shop" for my docs. I visited several before I found the ones I kept.
It was going to the gyn that really queered me out. But I can't let my doc do a physical because I am too grossed out. UGH!!!!
Here's an idea for you. Is there something small that's wrong, like your foot hurts when you take a walk, no matter which shoes you wear? (My current little problem.) Go to the doc for that. Something small, something you know isn't cancer or any other of the huge scary things you might be fearing. If you have 3 small problems, take those 3 problems to the doc.
Then, before you leave the office, could you try to make another appointment for the harder exams? Maybe while you are seeing the doc, you could explain how weird you are about it all, and he'll have some ideas, too.
I think it's important to let the receptionist know that you might need some extra time with the doc. This way, everyone is prepared, the doc won't lose patience (so to speak) because of a harried schedule.
I read in a Readers Digest (in a doc's waiting room!) that among the things docs dislike is when we save up all of our problems for one appointment, without scheduling for it.
Also high on their list is that we bathe before we go. That one shocked me. I really find it hard to believe that anyone would go to the doc without bathing, but a friend who is a gyn says that yes indeedy, there are women who don't. No, I am not suggesting that you don't bathe before you go to the doc, I just thought this was so odd.
There were other things - oh, I think one was not to save the biggest concern for last.
As for the dentist, there are some out there who specialize in the panic stricken.
My advice, advice from the similarly afflicted, is do it a little at a time. Have your teeth examined. Go back for a partial cleaning. Go back again for a full cleaning.
The same with the medical doctor, go and meet and talk the first time if that's what you need. Then go and have him look at your foot, the bump on your head, or the spot you're worried about (me again). Peripheral stuff. Then make another appointment.
Take care. Floss every day. :-)
ShortE
Miss Honeychurch,
poster:Shortelise
thread:437705
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/health/20050105/msgs/438105.html