Posted by Larry Hoover on June 1, 2003, at 23:14:11
In reply to Re: Found Psychological Babble - ready to babble; » Larry Hoover, posted by Squiggles on June 1, 2003, at 20:58:39
> You say it took a long time of introspective
> CBT for you to realize the effect of PSTD -
> OK - how did you come to realize that,Two steps required....learning to see that my responses to simuli were actually inconsistent with my beliefs about what they really represented. (Simply, I thought I was reacting to X, but I was really reacting to Y.) Second, maintaining attention during the inconsistent events to see what was happening after I had learned to ignore my previous (false) beliefs. Basically, I learned to disprove to myself my earlier beliefs, and substituted ones which more accurately reflected my "true" reality. That process, of course, is always subject to further fine-tuning, which becomes easier with practice. When I was faced with two recent traumas, one involving a violent assault, the other a vicarious trauma witnessing the events of 9/11, I was able to work through the massive emotional turmoil by employing some of the self-realization work I'd already begun. I got past those new traumas relatively swiftly, considering it took me more than thirty years the first time around.
Although I thought my problem was depression, it turned out to be more complex than that, including aspects of PTSD, chronic fatigue, and depression, all mixed together. It takes time to sort out that sort of complex mixture.
In summary, the biggest hurdle is denial. Beliefs that you "are the way you are", or "past experience changed me", or "you can't undo the past" aren't absolute truths. You can take the same historical information, and form new conclusions about it. One example that should be familiar to you is forgiveness. Nothing really changes, but your attitude.
> did
> you have a way of changing a developed personality,Yes, beginning with having the faith that change was possible. Faith, as I define it, is believing in something without proof. My counsellor helped me create that sense of faith, then I began to do the experiments required. I began to act my way into a new way of thinking. Personality isn't fixed. It's a choice, to a surprising degree. A habit, in many respects. You wanna feel different? Act different.
> and how much did you pay?
Nada. All part of OHIP-funded mental health care, as outpatient services at my local hospital. Also, I should also give some credit to 12-step groups, which ask for nominal donations sufficient to cover operating expenses, but donations are not mandatory.
Lar
P.S. There is something cathartic about simply "telling your story" to an empathetic listener. Just "letting it out" gives some relief. And that relief can foster further introspection and story-telling, and you're well on your way.
P.P.S. I understand why you wouldn't want to open up in a forum such as this. But you can give context without telling the whole story. I've done some of that right here. I'm not trying to convince you of anything. Just making a point.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:230572
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030529/msgs/230692.html