Posted by fallsfall on July 9, 2003, at 18:52:31
In reply to Therapist versus boyfriend (long), posted by Tabitha on July 9, 2003, at 14:13:00
I think that Dinah said it beautifully.
The only thing that I will add may make things muddier rather than cleaner (sorry). I was married for 19 years. When I told my family that I wanted to marry him they were appalled. I have a Masters degree (I'm a Software Engineer), he has a High School Diploma (he was a Pepsi salesman at the time). My family said that the "culture" differences were important enough for me to call off the wedding. I told them that he was kind and generous, and I didn't care if he had gone to college. They let us get married, but they weren't happy about it. We have 3 kids. After about 12 years they started to see what I meant about his kindness and generousity, and they decided that I had made a good choice. Then I left him. Education wasn't the primary reason I left, but it was a significant reason. When I think about regrets, one of my bigger regrets is not having someone more culturally oriented for those 19 years. Now my family can't understand why I left - they love him because he is kind and generous!
I tell you this story because the money, medical care, and personal growth issues that you have. These issues are of the same type as my education issue. I guess I'm just trying to say that something that I thought was totally unimportant when I was in my early 20s is now (46) important.
The other thing to keep in mind is that starting over now, generating a support structure, is easier than it ever will be again.
You are asking the right questions, and looking at the right things. Good Luck!
poster:fallsfall
thread:240306
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030529/msgs/240378.html