Posted by DaisyM on October 3, 2003, at 21:14:04
In reply to Re: Why can't I cry?, posted by HannahW on October 3, 2003, at 19:26:06
I think maybe the lonliness (post above) and inability to cry may be related...sometimes the hurt is so expansive that there isn't room to cry. It wells up...but then ?? One thing I've realized is that being heard in therapy makes it that much more lonely outside of it right now. Too much to process and can't share it with anyone else...at least not yet. Plus, I stay hyper-vigilant so much of the time for those tears. They only want to pop out when I DON'T want them to. Like when someone is genuinely nice to me...
I am really struggling with this. I know I'm holding back my emotions during sessions. I can feel my body lock down, tense and ready. But about 12 hours later, I'm hit with all of them so badly, I want to run for the phone. Of course, I don't...I argue with myself: "don't call, what can he do?"...."call, it will help to not be so alone..." and on and on.I try to bury myself in work and other busy stuff. It is just hard to concentrate sometimes
Yesterday was a really hard session -- Today was a really hard day, so sorry for being gloomy.
-D
poster:DaisyM
thread:265259
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/265378.html