Posted by Adia on October 3, 2003, at 22:04:57
In reply to Why can't I cry?, posted by HannahW on October 3, 2003, at 14:50:04
Hi Hannah..
I too have difficulties letting myself cry or crying when I so feel the urge or need to cry...
I really make an effort and hold back the tears...
When I cry alone I do feel it's a waste of time and it makes me feel so lonely...maybe that's why I try not to cry alone..I find that when I do need to cry, the tears will come somehow...even if they don't come when I want to...I watch a movie or read a book or I watch the news, and I find myself crying with anything....sometimes reading posts here help too ;o)
Sometimes I guess I don't cry because I am afraid of losing control of my emotions or feel terribly lonely and in need of a hug or some comfort..
Maybe you can phone someone and talk to someone and that may help..? I've done that..talk to someone I trust and just cry...or to call my therapist...
In therapy I can't cry when I feel I need to and then it all comes back when I am on the bus coming home...but there have been times in which I can get in touch with my emotions and I let myself cry..I prefer to be able to cry with someone because crying by myself scares me..or makes me feel scared of losing control of my emotions and of feeling hopeless inside..
I do watch a movie or read some book to help me cry sometimes..and even though that triggers the tears it helps to connect with what you're feeling inside...Sometimes if I am with a safe friend or with my therapist, if they touch me, or hold my hand, that helps me to just let go and cry..That gives me..permission to cry...
I am rambling here, just wanted to reply to your post...and let you know I am here for you ...Wishing you lots of healing tears...
Take gentle care,
Adia.
> Sometimes I feel like I'd really like to cry, but not because of any specific event. Just because I feel lonely or bad in some other way. Last night was one of those nights, so I shut myself in my bedroom and laid down to cry. But I couldn't, and that's so frequently the case. I managed to eke out a few tears, but I couldn't cry the heaving, cleansing sobs that I wanted to. There seems to be something about being alone that makes me incapable of crying. I don't know if it's because I feel it's a waste of time, or if it's because there's no one there to comfort me, or if it's just because I hate to contort my face into that crying shape. What's funny is that I used to be able to cry ONLY when I was alone. Now the only time I can cry is when my husband is there, and sometimes not even then. I can't cry in front of anyone else, including my therapist, and rarely even feel the need to cry with anyone else. I'm an impenetrable emotional rock. We're working on that in therapy. :)
>
> But that doesn't explain why I can't cry when I want to. Does anyone else have this problem?
poster:Adia
thread:265259
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/265390.html